Peace be with You

Peace be with you. Growing up in the Catholic school system, this phrase was spoken often as a ritual during each mass and celebration the school had. The priest would say “Peace be with you” and we would respond, “And also with you”. In addition to this, every mass, people would be prompted to greet each other, much like we do, however instead of a “Good morning!” everyone offered a greeting of “Peace”.

As strange as it sometimes seemed to be using peace as a greeting, I've always thought peace was such a pleasant word. It’s a word that people like to say, pursue, and adorn their walls with. We like to have peace, but how often do we give peace?

I think peace sounds deceptively simple. It sounds so passive. It seems like peace is merely the absence of action—when people shut their mouths and unclench their fists, we have peace, right?

As I searched the Bible for references to peace, I thought it was interesting how often, in the New Testament, peace was paired with ACTION words like grace, mercy, and love. It seems to me that peace was meant to be much more than a pleasant state of being that we should be seeking for ourselves. Peace is something to be shared. But beyond that, peace, as it turns out, is anything but passive! Peace requires relationship. Without relationship, peace doesn't exist… only silence exists, and anyone who’s ever been on the receiving end of the silent treatment knows—there’s a big difference between silence and peace.

So how do we make the leap from passive silence to active peace? The answer lies in those action words we often see peace paired up with—love and forgiveness. The bible says, “blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” God loves it when his children are actively pursuing peace with others. He doesn't want us to pretend to “play nice” with others, he wants us to pursue authentic relationships where peace is a result of love and forgiveness.

I don’t know about you guys, but sometimes I try to skate by on merely “playing nice” with others. People annoy me and upset me. I get mad. I get frustrated. I've sometimes fooled myself into thinking that I’m doing pretty good because I manage to keep a lid on the bitterness boiling below the surface. However, I've come to realize that God doesn't prize silence. God treasures peace. I need to love people who annoy me and I need to forgive those who upset me. It is only then that I am demonstrating the traits of a child of God.

Today, I would like to say “Peace be with you” … not as a well-wish or as a greeting, but rather as a challenge. We need to challenge ourselves to live each day in peace with others—actively loving those around us, and forgiving them along the way. Are there people in our lives we are engaged in battle with? Are there people in our lives we are merely “playing nice” with? Who do we need to forgive? Who needs our love? Whether they deserve it or not, God is asking us to give peace so that we can have it. 

Don't Kid Yourself

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." 

-James 1:19-27

This fall I joined a ladies' study group that was using Beth Moore's guide to James.  I've found her study material to be intriguing and the book of James has received new life as I read through it for the study. As you all may have clued into, I've been struggling a lot lately with balancing works-based faith and faith-based works. It is important to note, however, that there is no such thing has "worksless" faith. We all know (or should know) that "faith without works is dead" (James 2:26 NKJV).

So faith and works are closely tied. However, all of the good things that can come out of good deeds can be completely undone by one pesky thing: attitude.

This passage was one of those times where I was struck to the core. I wrestle with my attitude constantly. In fact, my attitude is the #1 reason why I'm always stumbling about in my faith--just when I think I have it all together, I trip over my own ego.

The two ways my attitude trips me up the most are:
1) Perfectionism (expecting my good deeds to earn me respect from God and peers) and
2) Anger (putting on a "religious" face in public, but lashing out when I get frustrated). 

Obviously, this passage in James slapped me across the face a few times when it came to my temper. I actually find the word temper rather ironic. In reference to emotions it is about angry outbursts, but in reference to metallurgy, or other crafts, temper actually means to bring to a proper, suitable,  or desirable state by or as by blending or admixture. My temper does everything but bring about a "desirable state!"

As a friend of mine, you'd probably never know it! I present a pretty good image. I'm cheerful and good-natured. However, if you were family... you'd know the truth! I store up my frustrations to unleash them later on those I, oddly enough, love most. I fume and tantrum. I lash out verbally. Sure, I try to blame it on being hungry or tired, but this passage makes it clear--I'm deceiving myself. If I can't keep my tongue bridled and my temper under control I'm fooling myself if I think I'm a "good Christian." 

Now, I might not smash things or lash out on a daily basis, but it's often enough that God convicted me of it as I read this passage! It is an odorous "moral filth" in my life. This is an area that I'm going to be focusing on "cleaning up". I'm going to be putting a conscious effort into bridling my tongue so that I can be an example of Christ's love. 

I need to hear God's words and listen to all of them. I can't "cherry-pick" the pleasant verses that appeal to me on any given day. God has expectations of me and I need to be living up to all of them all the time. Sound difficult? It should. In fact, it's impossible. However, I know that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Phil 4:13). 

I need to clean up my heart and start living a life of "true religion"-- loving everyone and caring for the marginalized. It's my job to be humble. It's my job to love the unlovable. It's my job to stop focusing on me and start focusing on God and others. 

I've heard anger defined as the resulting emotion of "one's will being thwarted." Well, if that's the case, I need to replace my will with God's so that the only anger in my life will be God's righteous indignation at the evils of this world, rather than the selfish anger of not getting my own way. 

Spring cleaning has come early in my spiritual life. Let's hope I can maintain a clean heart. 

"For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it."  

 --James 2:10

Crisis of Faith: Trying too Hard

"...the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." (Galatians 5:6b)

"You, my brothers and sisters were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh, rather, serve one another humbly in love... The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like... But the fruit of the Spirit is: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." (Galatians 5:13, 19-21, 22)

 Something that has plagued me since the very beginning of my walk with Christ is the nagging fear that I'm not "doing enough" for the Kingdom. I am constantly terrified of doing the wrong thing and have a deep desire to do what is right and to make God proud of me. Because of this fear, I often (oh, so often) fall back into the trap of works-based faith. I need to do something to make God happy! I need to find something of "Mother Theresean" proportions to accomplish for God so that he gives me a "gold star" when I get to Heaven.

I've been struggling with a great deal of anxiety over this issue recently. I've been questioning whether God really cares about me and what I might have done wrong that caused him to, seemingly, stop hearing me. My heart is in turmoil. My mind races. My eyes well up with tears and I cry out in a panic, begging God to show me what I need to do.

Someone recently pointed me towards the book of Galatians, saying, "Those believers were struggling with exactly the same things you are! I really think you should have a read through it." As I read through it during a sleepless night of anxiety, I found myself rediscovering truths that I knew, but had forgotten, and found particular comfort in Galatians 5.

I read verse 6 over and over and over again. All that matters is faith expressed through love. All that matters. Faith through love.

At my church I'm involved in a Young Marrieds group that discusses nurturing a marital relationship in Christ, and I am sometimes struck at how well marital truths fit my relationship with Christ. Something came up in conversation at our last meeting where my husband brought up the fact that spouses often swear that they would do "anything" for each other, but often "anything" is a gallant gesture of something grand, when the relationship would actually flourish better under constant small gestures of love. To quote him directly, "It's like saying, I would die for you, but I won't do the dishes."

I find that this is how my relationship with God has been. I am constantly saying, "God! I'll do anything for you! Just tell me what you need, and I'll be there! I'll die for you!" But when God asks for the simple "chore" of loving others and having faith, I wave it off and wait for the opportunity to offer a grander gesture.

Galatians really struck me in the fact that faith and love are "all that matter." If I can't have faith and love in the simple day-to-day interactions I have with people, how can I possibly expect to live a grand life of faith and love?

The second part of Galatians 5 that I quoted appeals to the "thinkers" like me who need more than just the simple statement of "faith and love." My biggest downfall is that I live too much in my head. As a teacher, I am used to giving detailed instructions of my expectations to my students and, as such, I think I expect my Teacher to give me the same. So, Galatians 5 goes on to outline what expressing faith through love looks like--and what it doesn't.

At first glance, the list of "do nots" looks extreme--- "Of course I wouldn't do that!", I say to myself. But then familiar follies of the flesh start appearing... hatred...jealousy...envy...rage...selfish ambition... 

I winced as I read those.

I need to strengthen my "faith" and "love" muscles and get the Spirit to help me out, as those sins are very much a part of my life. Maybe I should stop focusing on my "gold star" moment, and start focusing on allowing the Spirit to lead me in the simple things.

I find there is both freedom and frustration in the simplicity of being asked to have faith and, therefore, love. Freedom because my salvation doesn't depend on some amazing act on my part. Frustration because my perfectionist, academic self likes to be "best". I like to be top of my class. I like to accomplish "great things" and get awards or pats on the back. Uh---there's my selfish ambition creeping back into the picture!

I pray, with all my heart, that God would help me love. I pray that my faith would be strengthened so that I can set aside the anxieties that go along with feeling pressured to "accomplish" for God, rather than simply "living" for God. Because, as we know, all that matters is faith expressed through love.

Amen.

Joy: Transforming a Fumbling Faith

As a “mini ministry” and as a personal accountability tool, I’ve been working on this blog for the past two-and-a-half years and called it “The Daily Stumbler.” I decided on this moniker as an expression of who I felt I was in my faith---a person trying their best, but often tripping over their own feet when it came to following Christ. My faith has been one of my greatest joys and one of my greatest struggles, and this blog became an exploration of this wild journey.  

I obviously want my faith to be more joy and less struggle, and in response to the recent focus of our church on joy, I decided to really explore what joy truly meant in a biblical context. In my meanderings through scripture, I found a few recurring ideas:

Joy should be outward and apparent

Joy, throughout the bible, is almost always accompanied by some elaborate, outward expression. Joy involves good food, laughter, relationships, music, singing, shouting, dancing. No one just secretly “holds onto” their joy. Joy is wriggly and vibrant and just needs to burst out and be announced!

Joy is a reaction to blessing and an expression of gratitude

Do you remember as a kid (or even as an adult!) when you were handed a brightly wrapped box, garnished with curly ribbons and shiny bows? Do you remember tearing open that paper to find a gift that you longed for and hoped for? Do you remember your reaction? For most kids, the reaction to follow is pure, uncensored joy. They hop up and down wildly! They wrap their gift-givers in big bearhugs and squeeze them tight, shouting, “thankyouthankyouTHANKYOU!” They squeal with utter delight and nearly vibrate with positivity and gratitude.

Well, this is what happened in the bible when people received a gift from God: Victory in battle. Healing from disease. Freedom from oppression. An empty womb is filled with life. A good harvest. Undeserved mercy. Fulfilled promises. Salvation.

Joy is expressing deepest gratitude to God for a blessing.

Joy follows pain

Just as night is brought to a close with dawn, pain is brought to a close with joy. All of the aforementioned gifts were preceded by pain and sorrow: War, disease, oppression, infertility, back-breaking work, sin, doubt-filled waiting, condemnation.  It may be cliché to say, but it’s true: a person can’t know joy without knowing sorrow. The ecstasy of joy is due to the fact that you were delivered from something.

An example, which pales in comparison to true joy, would be a person walking with a backpack loaded down with supplies. The pack weighs him down---the straps digging into his shoulders painfully. While any other person just walking around feels no keen happiness at that fact, that backpacker—once delivered from his burden—will feel a sense of relief and happiness for the ability to walk around unhindered. His body will feel light and free! A smile and a sigh of relief will cross his lips as he slips the pack off his shoulders.

In the bible, God assured us of pain, but promised us joy will follow. Just as the sweetness of sugar is intensified after eating something bitter, so also is the rush of joy intensified after deliverance from pain and sorrow.

True Joy comes from God

The interesting thing about my exploration of joy in the bible was that it wasn't exclusive to the righteous. The bible does say that all people experience joy in some form. However, it is made clear that the “artificial joy” experienced by the wicked “is brief, the joy of the godless lasts but a moment.” (Job 20:5) Joy, in its true, everlasting form, comes directly from God.

Time and time again, the people who experienced pure joy found it in God’s Spirit. The Holy Spirit filled them up and let the joy overflow. A life void of joy is a life void of Spirit. People who were in the presence of God, or had his Holy Spirit fill them up, found joy that managed to endure through difficult circumstances. They found that, no matter what, they had been redeemed and that could never be taken away from them. That was enough to supply gratitude and joy despite pain or difficulty. Those who experienced the greatest sorrow in the bible were those who felt forsaken by God. An absence of God's presence, whether perceived or real, results in an absence of joy. 

As a “Stumbler”, I often find myself living joylessly. Sure, I have those mountaintop “highs” where joy is bursting at my heart’s seams…however, life sometimes gets in the way. My selfishness and anxieties creep back into the picture. Before I know it, my heart is filled with worldly concerns and the Spirit has been squeezed into a corner. If I want to stop Stumbling and start Leaping with Joy, I need to allow the Spirit of God to fill me up and possess my heart and thoughts.

When my heart is Spirit-filled and Spirit-led, 

joy becomes a permanent expression of who I am in Christ, 

rather than being a temporary response to good circumstances.

I long for the day that I can honestly declare to the world that I am a “Daily Stumbler” no longer—that my sorrow, doubts, and trepidation have been permanently replaced by God-given joy. A joy so real and intense that it assures me of my next step in Christ and radiates from me so brightly that others are drawn in and compelled to declare “I want what she has.”  

Transforming the Ordinary

The disciples went and did as Jesus had instructed them. They brought the donkey and the colt and placed their cloaks on them for Jesus to sit on. A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,

“Hosanna to the Son of David!”

“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”

“Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred and asked, “Who is this?”

The crowds answered, “This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee.”  

                                   -Matthew 21:6-11 

In this passage, I was struck by how our God elevates the ordinary--or even undesirable-- into something holy.  Jesus, our God and King, used a donkey as his mighty stallion. Palm branches were used as flags announcing his glory. Ragged cloaks were used as his red carpet treatment. And even God himself became an ordinary human being… the humble son of a tradesman.

I think that God loves surprising us. He loves showing us what he can do with a few simple ingredients, even when it comes to our relationship with him. All God needs is us to be willing to take the very next step with him and he can transform that step, and those to follow, into something amazing. We don’t need the extraordinary faith to leap—our God only requires the ordinary faith we have--even if that's only enough for a baby step-- and He’ll take it from there.

Even the communion table, which we use to remember the burden Christ took for us and the grace he continuously extends to us, uses simple, ordinary symbols. Wine and bread. The staples of Jesus’ day. Sustenance that even the poorest of people understood. If he had been born into our society, it may have been tap water and canned soup.

However, in Jesus’ hands, ordinary bread becomes a symbol of our Savior’s body being beaten and broken---taking our deserved punishment. He tore up the bread and explained to his disciples that his body would have to endure something similar.

Then, Jesus took an ordinary pitcher of wine and slowly poured it into a cup, explaining that his blood would flow and spill for our sake.

We remember these things so that we could put our hearts in the right place… we can remember that Jesus wasn't just some ordinary man, dying an ordinary criminal’s death. No, God elevated this act to a miracle. This act paid our debt and the extraordinary resurrection to follow reconciled us with God.

Ordinary becomes holy: 

A donkey becomes a King’s steed. 

Bread and wine become symbols of redemption. 

You and I become children of God. 

It truly is amazing.

Renewing Your Vows

Earlier this week I was asked to relate the following passage to communion and give a short message on my reflection:

When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 

“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 

Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 

The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” 

Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

               -Matthew 19: 1-12 

At first it was difficult to see how a passage about divorce might relate to the act of communion, however, my mind immediately jumped to the opposite of divorce---marriage. Jesus made it very clear in this passage from Matthew that God’s plan for marriage never included divorce as an option, but it was a concession He made because of our sinfulness. God’s true plan for marriage is outlined later in Ephesians, and it was meant to be a shining example of God’s relationship with us--- a relationship of sacrificial love, oneness, and intimacy.

My husband and I have been married for six years and we’ve talked about how wonderful it would be to plan on holding a vow renewal ceremony once every decade or so. A ceremony meant to celebrate the relationship we’ve had and continue to grow in. A ceremony which would allow us to remind ourselves and others that, despite having both good times and bad times, we’re in this for the long haul. A ceremony that, at its core, would remind us that marriage is about sacrifice and our commitment to one another.

In that context, I really came to see the communion table as a vow renewal. Except rather than happening every decade or so, I have the opportunity and responsibility to take part in this every week. It is at this table that I am reminded of my union to Christ. It is at this table that I am reminded how immense my God’s love is for me. It is at this table that I can renew my vows to Him as well---to thank Him for his love and commitment to me, as well as to express my love and commitment to him.

A relationship with God, much like a marriage, takes hard work to nurture and maintain. It isn’t always a blissful “high” of heart-thumping emotions. However, at this table we are reminded that this relationship cost God everything. Jesus did not cling to his rights as God. He gave up power, comfort, privacy, and life itself so that we could be united to Him.

This table reminds me of that and gets me back to the place where I can surrender my rights, ask for forgiveness in the areas where I’ve messed up, and say, once again:

Jesus, I love you. God, I love you. 

Thank you so much. 

I promise to love, cherish, and obey you forever. 

For better or for worse, 

for richer or poorer, 

in sickness and in health. 

For as long as I live, and in the eternity beyond. 

Amen.

Truly Good Person?

When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly.

-1 Corinthians 4:12b-13a

 Occasionally I give a brief meditation prior to communion being distributed to the church on Sundays. This week is one of those weeks. In preparing for my message, I was reflecting on how a relationship with God is like a marriage, and how it requires sacrificial love and undying commitment. Additionally, I talked about how the communion table can act as a sort of "vow renewal" ceremony between God and his followers (I'll post the full text of the communion message later this week). However, in reflecting on that and my "vows" to God, I began to feel horrible about how spectacularly I fail in loving my God and following Him.

Anyone can be a good, patient, loving person when life is going well. The true test of a person's character comes when life is difficult, unfair, or painful. All too often I find myself failing miserably and reverting back to a toddler mentality when life isn't going my way and I begin to throw a tantrum at God's feet.

"Why me? No fair! Arg!" 

*stomp, grumble, grumble, cry*

The mask comes off, and the ugly starts to show.

The worst part of it all is catching a glimpse of my reflection and realizing that I'm not the person I thought I was.

I grew up in a church that, I've come to realize, was quite legalistic. Good Christians are good people who do good things and are, therefore, good Christians. It was a cycle of works-based faith. However, in reflecting on my guilt today and the countless times I've failed in the "good person" department, I've come to a very (simplistically) profound and freeing realization:

There is no such thing as a truly good person. 

There is only God working in people who let Him. 

For many "churched" people, this is kind of a "well, duh" statement. It's theology 101. However, this is the first time it's truly hit me. I spend so much time trying so very hard to be a good person and do the "right" thing, that I forget to spend time pursuing God in order to do His thing. I need to work on my faith and deepen my relationship with Him and stop worrying about my feeble attempts to impress Him. 

"...no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works..."     -Romans 3:20

"...at the present time there is a remnant chosen by grace. And if by grace, then it cannot be based on works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace."  -Romans 11:5-6 

Trying to impress God by "being a good person" is like a toddler trying to impress their parent by painting a "masterpiece" on the living room wall with crayon. Not only will we fail miserably, we will likely receive the complete opposite reaction of what we were hoping for. We'll only end up frustrating/angering God rather than impressing Him! What God wants is a relationship with us. We were already saved by grace. There is no need to impress anyone anymore. Our job now is to fall madly in love with God and to trust Him. Once we accomplish those two things, everything else will fall into place---not because we suddenly became "better" or more impressive, but because our hearts will be finally in a place where God can work through us.

 This is good news! Gone is the oppression of guilt and perfectionism! *poof!* We are FREE!

Return on Investment

 “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be...Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and [God] will give you everything you need.So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today."

                     -Matthew 6: 19-21, 33-34 (NLT)

This was the passage studied in my church this morning, and I found myself jotting down a few notes and fervently underlining, capitalizing, and circling some main ideas that really spoke to me and opened my eyes.

The bottom line was: Time in this life is finite. Time is my most precious treasure--- how am I investing it?

The question our pastor posed today is: What does "seeking the Kingdom of God first" look like? 

All too often, people (**coughcoughmecough**) live our lives in a frenzy. We are over-committed, over-entertained, and over-stressed. We invest our time poorly. Often our time investments are legitimate---relationships, work, etc---however, sometimes our time investments are less noble---Facebook, TV, video games, etc. Whether legitimate or not, often our most precious treasure--our time and energy--is spent on "earthly" things. Our order of focus is:

 Work + Relationships + Fun = Life (+ squeeze God in here somewhere!)

However, really, that equation is completely backwards.

God = Life (+what else do I have time for?)

Obviously, we can't sit around reading our bibles and praying all day long. That's far from what a Godly life is all about. However, we are asked to seek Him and His will first. This means a few things:

1) God is an integral part of my day. I should be praying to Him, thinking about Him, and thanking Him every step of the way.
2) God's Word is first on the "To Do" list. I shouldn't go to bed without digging into my Bible! Often I live my life---work, time with people I love, entertainment--- and I find myself going to bed too tired to think about reading and leaving it for "tomorrow".
3) Focused time with God. When I have time carved out to spend getting to know God and reflecting on His word, that time should be completely free of anxiety or distractions. This might require I get up 30 minutes before the rest of the house, or stay up 30 minutes later. This also means that I'm not running through my chore list in the back of my mind while spending time with Him. This point actually reminded me of the times that I've talked to my husband on the phone when he was out of town and I could always tell when I didn't have his full attention. Sometimes he was watching TV, organizing his stuff, or was on his computer while talking to me and it was always very obvious and very frustrating/offensive to me. I always asked him, "I'm not asking for much! I just want to be the only thing you're focusing on for the next 20 minutes! Talk with me! Be engaged in our conversation!" ... and I can only imagine God saying the same thing to me during our prayer time!
4) We need to "become God with skin on" to those around us. That means we're full-time Christians engaging with the world around us in love, faith, hope, humility, and  forgiveness. The world is not going to be "convinced" of our faith because we preach at them every once in a while, or because we go to church on Sundays, or because we point out all their sins. The world will only be convinced when we fully embody who God is. The only way that happens is if we've been putting God first and have gotten to know Him intimately through our relationship with Him.

The big realization I've come to is that I, ashamedly, have been investing my time poorly. I've spent more time in the void of mindless entertainment than I do in pursuit of God. What's the return of investment on Facebooking? YouTubing? Workaholism? Not a whole lot. However, the return of investment on prioritizing a life of faith and a relationship with God is infinite.

I'm just hoping I can remember that. I'd hate to pull my "Eternity Fund" only to make a few bad investments and end up losing big time.

Talking With God

"My heart has heard you say, 'Come and talk with me.' 

And my heart responds, 'Lord, I am coming.'"

-Psalm 27:8 NLT

Since getting back into my bible and committing to read it consistently, I've found myself reflecting a lot on hearing and responding to God in prayer. I wanted to share some realizations I've had recently about my prayer life. I read the above verse yesterday as I was flipping through Psalms, and the profound thought hit me: God is inviting me to converse with him! That fact, in and of itself, is amazing. I am one of billions of people on this planet, but God still personalizes himself and invites each heart to simply "come and talk". 

But what do we say when we get into that conversation?

I've, ashamedly, come to realize that my prayer life has become extremely self-centered. I am constantly asking God for stuff and complaining about difficult situations. My heart too closely resembles the Israelites' in Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers. My heart complains when it should be thanking. I often don't know how good I have it and am blinded by "inconveniences". No matter what happens, I've enjoyed luxuries 90% of the world's population has only dreamed about. I not only have my basic needs taken care of, but I also have countless "comforts" on top of that. I've learned that, because I have a roof over my head and a car to drive, I am in the top 1% of wealthiest people on the planet. It's not often that middle-class North America remembers that it is truly rich in comparison to the larger world.

While reflecting on the passages dealing with the Israelites' exodus from Egypt and time in the wilderness, I've been reminded that:

1. God is God and is worthy of respect. I should be speaking to him with the same respect and reverence that I would speak to a national leader.
2. God is family. I should be loving towards him and admiring who he is. 
3. God is merciful. I should be endlessly thankful towards him in the same way I would be thankful towards a friend/stranger who decided to pay off all my past, present, and future debts.
4. God is never deserving of my anger/wrath. I am in no position to complain given the fact that he has saved me and accepts me, despite all my flaws and mistakes. Just because I don't understand why something is happening, doesn't mean I have the right to get demanding/disrespectful towards God. To quote an unknown author, "When you are going through something difficult and wonder where God is, remember a teacher is always silent during a test."

This doesn't mean we should never ask God for anything. Moses constantly pleaded with God to change His mind on various plans. However, we need to be very aware of what we are asking for and what motivations lie behind those requests. Are we merely being selfish? Are we only concerned with our own comfort? Remember, God never promised to keep us comfortable. Quite the opposite. Comfortable people don't grow. Comfortable people don't respond to challenge. Comfortable people don't work any harder than they have to. God promised us a difficult life, but a rich and rewarding life. We need to keep this in mind if God refuses our requests or doesn't seem to answer our prayers. His will is His own. He sees the big picture. We're only looking at one pixel at a time.

I really hope that I can keep the lines of communication consistently open from now on. I seem to get on a spiritual "rollercoaster", where one week I'm on top of the world singing a "Hallelujah" chorus, and the next week I'm at the bottom of the valley, ignoring God, and distracted by my own "difficult" life. I pray that God would give me His heart, to know His will, and the faith/courage to actually do His will.

Sometimes all this Stumbling around gets tiresome. 

How to Read the Bible Everyday

As I write this post, I must admit--being the ever-stumbling Christian I am--I have not done well enough with my Bible reading over the summer to claim I now read it EVERY day, but I have gotten better!

My last two blog posts explored why it's important to read the Bible often and consistently, as well as what the Bible is all about. Today, far overdue, is my final installment which is meant to explore how to read the Bible everyday.

As with anything, I find that the only way I can stick to anything is if I actually have a plan. When I "dabble" in the Bible I find it easier to be drop off and be inconsistent in my reading. Right now I have the YouVersion Bible app on my iPhone and tablet and I use the "Reading God's Story: One-Year Chronological Plan". It prompts me to read 6 days a week and tells me which passages to read. The fact that I have the Bible on my phone and tablet leaves me no excuse when it comes to reading. I carry my phone on my all the time. I should be able to pick it up and explore the Lord's letter in any idle moment! If I lapse in my reading, the app will automatically email me and encourage me to get back at it! (Isn't it amazing when technology is used for something holy?)

The problem with a one-year plan is that it can be very overwhelming and daunting to a person just starting in on their bible. One-year plans often require a person to read 4-6 chapters of the bible per day. If you're new to the daily bible reading thing, I would suggest starting where you can. It's more important that you're consistent and getting a bit each day than it is to be reading the whole thing through in a year. When I was younger my first steps into reading the bible involved reading the New Testament, little-by-little, each day. I've also thoroughly enjoyed reading a Psalms or Proverbs per day. These areas of the Bible are full of relevance and hope! They are a great place to start! (But don't forget to expand out and move on later on! Always challenge yourself!)

As with most reading plans, mine has had me starting in the Old Testament. I always find my foray into Leviticus is especially difficult. It brings up all kinds of tough ideas and cultural norms that are entirely foreign to me and often offensive to me! (But I suppose that's a post for another day!) However, I know that being challenged by the bible is a good thing. It has opened the dialogue daily with God and it has pushed me to truly try and understand Him.

As a wise pastor once told me, the thing to remember in reading any part of the bible is to read with the joy Christ's grace has given us. The bible points to Jesus' redemption. The "heavy", difficult parts of the bible are there to remind us of the legalism we've been freed from, thanks to Christ's sacrifice.

So, however you choose to start, remember to:
a) have a plan and stick to it daily
b) reflect on what you read and talk to God about it. What are you thankful for in this passage? What confused you or angered you about this passage? Seek further understanding.
c) remember that all you read points towards Christ's grace. Read with the freedom of hope/forgiveness, not the guilt of legalism.

Honestly, fellow Stumblers, reading the Bible on a daily basis makes all the difference in my life. It's like exercise for the soul. It strengthens my faith "muscles" and keeps my spirit healthy. I have always been able to trace the darkest times in my life to a non-existent devotional life. I refused to read God's word, and often my prayers also ceased in those times. A life without God's Words becomes hopeless and lonesome and meaningless.

God created our bodies with the essential need for daily maintenance--food, water, exercise, rest-- what makes us think that our souls are any different? Remember to tend to your hungry soul. Nourish with God's word daily. Feed your spirit. Don't deprive your soul of a conversation with your Maker.

What is the Bible all About?

Last week my blog post explored the "Why" of the Bible---as in, "Why should I read this massive book? Why should I read it everyday?"---so this week I thought I'd do my due diligence and  explore the "What" of the Bible (to be closely followed with the "How"). If you've grown up reading the Bible, you should be fairly familiar with what the Bible is all about and how it's structured, but it can be a very intimidating and confusing tome to someone who's cracking it open for the first time (or even if you're cracking it open for the first time in a while!)

Some of the "what" questions that came to mind for me were:
-What's the Bible about? What's it's overall "theme"? (That's the English teacher in me coming out...)
-What's in the Bible? What topics does it cover?
-What's the Bible's purpose?

Bible 101:


If the Bible is something you've only really heard of and never read yourself, let me give you a quick overview. The Bible is believed to be the inspired Word of God. That is, God didn't write it with his own hand and leave it for people to discover, but he did tell his followers what to write and record. These records were then compiled about 1700 years ago into the single, large volume we know today.

Many, many people authored the Bible and it was written over the course of thousands of years. It is split up into an "Old Testament" (pre-Christ) and a "New Testament" (post-Christ). I don't claim to be a Bible historian or scholar by any means, so, please, I would encourage you to do further research and get information from people much smarter than I am on this topic!

Theme of the Bible: 


This was a difficult one for me to pin down to a single cohesive statement. I've heard the Bible referred to as a "love letter", as instructions, as rules, and as prophesies. I guess all of the above are correct, but I would have to say that I would say the theme of the Bible is "Redemption: A Work in Progress".

I see the Bible as a book full of screw-ups--- "Stumblers" like me. I also see the Bible as a book chronicling God's dealings with these screw-ups. While, on an individual basis, He chose to deal with people in very different ways---everything from utter destruction to complete transformation--on a whole the Bible shows the over-arching story-line to be one of redemption. God is trying to get his children, his creation, to stop being stupid and to return to Him. He is trying to repair the brokenness of our souls.

Topics of the Bible:


Wow... there are entire books written on this subject, so I don't think I can address all the topics here! The Bible goes in-depth on many topics, touches on countless others, and is frustratingly silent on some. I think the key here is to remember to not treat the Bible as a "FAQ" to life's big questions, or as an index of solutions to our problems. The Bible has incredible wisdom, inspiration and, yes, answers. However, the Bible also requires careful reading and re-reading. You can't just do a topic search and read a single verse that pops up. Every verse has a chapter, every chapter a book, every book a Testament---context is everything. Understanding the whole is just as important as finding a few poignant parts.

Purpose of the Bible:


I believe the Bible's purpose is multifaceted. I believe it is meant to give us context and purpose (i.e. How did we get here? What's life all about? What happens after death?). I believe it's meant to be a starting point in our relationship with God, as it establishes who He is, what He's done, and how we are to know Him. I believe it is meant to give us answers, as it acts as a spiritual "litmus test", helping us know right from wrong.

However, as many answers as the Bible gives us, I think God left it a little murky and mysterious on purpose. He wants us to seek him and to ask him questions. He wants us to go to him for answers too. This is why I believe people find continued inspiration and new perspectives when they read the Bible over and over. I believe God uses the simple passages of the Bible as an introduction to him, but once we draw close to him, he uses his Spirit to help us understand the Bible on a deeper level.

It's kind of like Facebook, in a way. You can Facebook "stalk" someone to a certain extent without being their "friend". Often you'll get basic information about them---their hometown, their interests, their profile picture--but that's about it. However, you learn more about them when you seek a relationship with them. Once you "friend" them, a whole plethora of information becomes open to you---other photo albums, their status reports, their links. However, there are always some things their Facebook page never tells you. You need to seek a true relationship with them and be continually cultivating it. Spend time with them. Do things with them. Once this happens, their Facebook page takes on new meaning---suddenly, you understand the context of those photos! You share in the "inside jokes" that you missed before! Your life is intertwined with theirs. There is deeper meaning to the information that was only superficially interesting to you before you actually got to know them.

While it's a simplified analogy, the Bible is God's "Facebook". The overall "theme" (his "About Me" section) is that God wants to fix the world. The topics (like wall posts) are numerous and various, but by no means comprehensive. The purpose is to enable you to get to know Him on your terms. Are you going to be forever a "Facebook Stalker" --only getting to know the basics about Him? Or are you going to dig in deeper? Are you going to take the time to get to know the Person behind the "statuses"?

It's our choice.

Why Read the Bible EVERY day?

Something I've struggled to do a lot over the years (and probably a large reason why I'm "Stumbling" so often) is  committing to read the Bible EVERY day. There have been times in my life, some extended periods, where I would read the Bible everyday. I would get my hands on some awesome new devotional... or I would resolve to read through a book or two... or I would try to read the whole Bible. But, more often than not, my Bible remains closed.

Photo credit: http://christcontrolled.wordpress.com

I'm not exactly sure why I find reading the Bible so difficult and/or tiresome at times... perhaps that's the Devil's plan---to convince me that it's too hard to read the Bible, or perhaps too time-consuming. Whatever the case, some days I look at my Bible and heave a big sigh and give up before I even start. I'll leave it to gather dust, while I opt to Facebook or Pinterest instead (how did those become verbs in my life? I should resolve to make "Bible" a verb instead!).

I'll still pray; I'll talk to God. But then I wonder why He seems so far away. I'll cry out in sorrow or frustration and feel so alone, feel like He's not there. As a teacher, I should know better! It's so frustrating when my students ask silly questions that I've already answered, or if they ask what they're supposed to be doing when I've written the directions on the paper in front of them! I'll often say, in exasperation, "I just answered that!" or "Read the directions!"


I can imagine God must get similar feelings of frustration and exasperation with me! How often do I ask Him silly questions or for directions, when the answers to my questions are written down right in front of me? Perhaps He, like a teacher, is choosing not to answer me until I've taken the time to read the directions first.

The Bible is God's instruction manual. His directions. His Word. So, is it necessary to read the Bible? Absolutely. Should I be reading it everyday? If I have questions, I should always start there; otherwise I can expect God to be silent in my prayers while pointing expectantly at His Directions. Like any good teacher, God is more than willing to help His children, His students; however, he does expect us to read the directions first. He's not going to do our "homework" for us, but he will help us if we've already read the directions and are struggling to understand. That is how learning happens. That is how true growth happens.

Life is Painful

This week has been an incredibly tough week. I am a teacher, and this past week we found out a grade nine student committed suicide.  My reflections on today’s scripture are completely colored by the grief and weariness of this past week. But in life’s darkest times, I find that the hope in Christ Jesus shines brightest.

Today’s scripture, Matthew 13, is the parable of the Sower. A farmer, who scatters his seeds around him. Some of those seeds fall on a path and are carried away by birds. Some of those seeds fell on rocks and had no soil to take root in. Some of those seeds fell among the thorns and were choked out by weeds. But some, some seeds found rich, perfect soil and took root deeply and, against all odds, grew strong and multiplied.

In reading this message, the question that surfaced in my mind is “Where am I rooted?”. I have no doubt in my mind that the seeds that found the “good soil” still had to go through some incredibly difficult circumstances. Birds still fly over good soil. The sun still scorches good soil. Weeds still find their way into good garden patches. The only difference is where those seeds were rooted. Because their roots went deep into something Good, something enriching, something live-giving, the seeds were able to grow and flourish.

This week has reiterated to me that life has pain. Incredible pain. Unimaginable pain. That is inevitable. The real question is, where have I rooted myself? Have I rooted myself in denial? Turning a blind eye to life’s hardships? Partying or making the best of life I can, hoping the good times never end?  Or have I rooted myself in the imperfect people around me---depending on them to hold me up and help me grow no matter what? And then being incredibly disappointed when they fail me, or when what they offer turns out to be hollow or unsatisfying?

Or have I chosen to root myself in my faith in God and Christ?

Now, I'm not saying we shouldn't be optimistic about life or lean on our friends. However, there will always come a time when our optimism falters and our friends fail us. God, however, is perfect and enriching and life-giving. He is the only One who will never fail us. He is the only one who can comfort us and sustain us and help us grow. The communion table serves to remind us not only of Christ’s perfect sacrifice for us. It also reminds us that our God understands pain. He isn’t some distant deity watching us from afar. God is a person. A person who suffered. A person who, in his time of greatest need, felt the heart-wrenching pain of being utterly abandoned by everyone he knew and loved.

He knows. He understands. And he can help. Like a friend who’s been there, who can relate, Christ can take our burdens and help us grow, even when the odds are stacked against us. When we root ourselves in him, and in our faith, we aren’t guaranteed a life without pain---we are, however, guaranteed to have Someone who knows our very soul, who wants to give us peace, and who wants to help carry our burdens. There is hope in Christ. There is life in Christ. There is growth in Christ.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

GIVING RESPECT


"Each of you must respect your mother and father" -Leviticus 19:3


"Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly" -Leviticus 19:32


"...women will respect their husbands, from the least to the greatest" -Esther 1:20


"'A son honors his father, and a slave his master. If I am a father, where is the honor due me? If I am a master, where is the respect due me?' says the LORD Almighty." -Malachi 1:6


"Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor." -Romans 13:7

Photo credit: Futurity.org

GETTING RESPECT


"He is a righteous and God-fearing man, who is respected by all" -Acts 10:22


"...make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. " -1 Thessalonians 4:11-12


"Qualifications for Overseers and Deacons
 Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full^[a] respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.

In the same way, deacons are to be worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain. They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.

 In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.

 A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well. Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus."

-1 Timothy 3:1-12

________________________________________________

As I was thinking about and researching "respect", I found some interesting patterns. In this day and age, we seem to think that we only have to give respect if we deem the other person somehow "worthy" of our respect. It's as though everyone else has to live up to our own personal standards, and if they don't we can scoff at them and shrug them off. 

The Bible talks a LOT more about giving respect than receiving respect. And you know what? Nowhere does it say that we are to respect people if we think they "deserve" it. There are just some things that automatically qualify people to demand our respect--no matter how we feel about it. 

If someone has authority over us, in some manner, we are expected to respect them --- parents, those older than us, our bosses, oh and, ya'know... God. But what does it really mean to respect someone? 

Well, our old friend "Dictionary" has a couple ideas:

Respect noun:

3: esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability

4: deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment

So, it comes down to two forms--of which you can choose one or both. Respect can either be esteem (admiration--a feeling), and/or it can be deference (humble submission--an action). The problem most people run into, is that they think just because they don't feel warm fuzzy feelings for someone, that they are then entitled to skip the deference part. That's just not true. Like it or not, we are expected to treat authority figures with respect. There is a hierarchy to society---it's been there since the dawn of time---and God expects His children to be respectful people.

We are often horribly disrespectful to others because our selfish desires and expectations aren't being met. Even in our dealings with God; we will sometimes become disrespectful when we speak with Him because, well, we're mad at Him or we don't like the way He's handling things. The bottom line is: it doesn't matter. Hopefully the esteem is there, but even when it isn't, the deference is always required and expected. Some level of respect must be maintained.

Now, granted, there are some people who we rarely esteem and admire. This makes it very difficult to be humble and submissive to them. It's for this exact reason that, when it comes to getting respect, God is a LOT stricter with his followers. He expects us to be respectable people---in all senses of the word. Just take a look and re-read the larger passage I posted from Timothy. Look at ALL the adjectives that are packaged in with the descriptions of "respectable" people:

Righteous. Faithful. Temperate. Self-Controlled. Hospitable. Able to teach. Not a party-er. Gentle. Not argumentative. Not greedy. Good to their family. Good manager. Godly. Humble. Good reputation. Sincere. Honest. Wise. Guilt-free. Not a gossip. Trustworthy. Hard-worker. Makes his own living. 


Take a good, hard look at that list. Really. As you reflect on people you've scoffed and shrugged off as "unworthy" of your respect, ask yourself: how worthy are you of respect?

As I looked through those attributes and tried to "grade" myself according to the standard set out in the Bible, I realized... I don't measure up. I fail in nearly every single one of those categories. Sure, I'm a teacher by trade and I have made a decent career... but what about being self-controlled? Humble? Guilt-free? Gentle? Avoiding gossip?

It's a good thing our God is a God of GRACE and MERCY! I hope I remember that mercy the next time I come across a difficult person that I feel isn't "worthy" of my respect.

Photo credit: patgoltz, flickr