Renewing Your Vows

Earlier this week I was asked to relate the following passage to communion and give a short message on my reflection:

When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 

“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 

Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 

The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” 

Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

               -Matthew 19: 1-12 

At first it was difficult to see how a passage about divorce might relate to the act of communion, however, my mind immediately jumped to the opposite of divorce---marriage. Jesus made it very clear in this passage from Matthew that God’s plan for marriage never included divorce as an option, but it was a concession He made because of our sinfulness. God’s true plan for marriage is outlined later in Ephesians, and it was meant to be a shining example of God’s relationship with us--- a relationship of sacrificial love, oneness, and intimacy.

My husband and I have been married for six years and we’ve talked about how wonderful it would be to plan on holding a vow renewal ceremony once every decade or so. A ceremony meant to celebrate the relationship we’ve had and continue to grow in. A ceremony which would allow us to remind ourselves and others that, despite having both good times and bad times, we’re in this for the long haul. A ceremony that, at its core, would remind us that marriage is about sacrifice and our commitment to one another.

In that context, I really came to see the communion table as a vow renewal. Except rather than happening every decade or so, I have the opportunity and responsibility to take part in this every week. It is at this table that I am reminded of my union to Christ. It is at this table that I am reminded how immense my God’s love is for me. It is at this table that I can renew my vows to Him as well---to thank Him for his love and commitment to me, as well as to express my love and commitment to him.

A relationship with God, much like a marriage, takes hard work to nurture and maintain. It isn’t always a blissful “high” of heart-thumping emotions. However, at this table we are reminded that this relationship cost God everything. Jesus did not cling to his rights as God. He gave up power, comfort, privacy, and life itself so that we could be united to Him.

This table reminds me of that and gets me back to the place where I can surrender my rights, ask for forgiveness in the areas where I’ve messed up, and say, once again:

Jesus, I love you. God, I love you. 

Thank you so much. 

I promise to love, cherish, and obey you forever. 

For better or for worse, 

for richer or poorer, 

in sickness and in health. 

For as long as I live, and in the eternity beyond. 

Amen.