Talking With God

"My heart has heard you say, 'Come and talk with me.' 

And my heart responds, 'Lord, I am coming.'"

-Psalm 27:8 NLT

Since getting back into my bible and committing to read it consistently, I've found myself reflecting a lot on hearing and responding to God in prayer. I wanted to share some realizations I've had recently about my prayer life. I read the above verse yesterday as I was flipping through Psalms, and the profound thought hit me: God is inviting me to converse with him! That fact, in and of itself, is amazing. I am one of billions of people on this planet, but God still personalizes himself and invites each heart to simply "come and talk". 

But what do we say when we get into that conversation?

I've, ashamedly, come to realize that my prayer life has become extremely self-centered. I am constantly asking God for stuff and complaining about difficult situations. My heart too closely resembles the Israelites' in Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers. My heart complains when it should be thanking. I often don't know how good I have it and am blinded by "inconveniences". No matter what happens, I've enjoyed luxuries 90% of the world's population has only dreamed about. I not only have my basic needs taken care of, but I also have countless "comforts" on top of that. I've learned that, because I have a roof over my head and a car to drive, I am in the top 1% of wealthiest people on the planet. It's not often that middle-class North America remembers that it is truly rich in comparison to the larger world.

While reflecting on the passages dealing with the Israelites' exodus from Egypt and time in the wilderness, I've been reminded that:

1. God is God and is worthy of respect. I should be speaking to him with the same respect and reverence that I would speak to a national leader.
2. God is family. I should be loving towards him and admiring who he is. 
3. God is merciful. I should be endlessly thankful towards him in the same way I would be thankful towards a friend/stranger who decided to pay off all my past, present, and future debts.
4. God is never deserving of my anger/wrath. I am in no position to complain given the fact that he has saved me and accepts me, despite all my flaws and mistakes. Just because I don't understand why something is happening, doesn't mean I have the right to get demanding/disrespectful towards God. To quote an unknown author, "When you are going through something difficult and wonder where God is, remember a teacher is always silent during a test."

This doesn't mean we should never ask God for anything. Moses constantly pleaded with God to change His mind on various plans. However, we need to be very aware of what we are asking for and what motivations lie behind those requests. Are we merely being selfish? Are we only concerned with our own comfort? Remember, God never promised to keep us comfortable. Quite the opposite. Comfortable people don't grow. Comfortable people don't respond to challenge. Comfortable people don't work any harder than they have to. God promised us a difficult life, but a rich and rewarding life. We need to keep this in mind if God refuses our requests or doesn't seem to answer our prayers. His will is His own. He sees the big picture. We're only looking at one pixel at a time.

I really hope that I can keep the lines of communication consistently open from now on. I seem to get on a spiritual "rollercoaster", where one week I'm on top of the world singing a "Hallelujah" chorus, and the next week I'm at the bottom of the valley, ignoring God, and distracted by my own "difficult" life. I pray that God would give me His heart, to know His will, and the faith/courage to actually do His will.

Sometimes all this Stumbling around gets tiresome.