BOLD

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Acts 4

This passage immediately brought me back to a favourite camp song that I sang many times in my youth. You can check out this video, or just read the lyrics below: 

Be bold, be strong

For the Lord your God is with you.

Be bold, be strong,

For the Lord your God is with you.

I am not afraid,

I am not dismayed,

Because I'm walking in faith and victory,

Come on and walk in faith and victory,

For the Lord your God is with you.

I often find that songs that seem to be the simplest, actually have some profound truths hidden behind a catchy tune. Those lyrics have power! Our Lord God is with us! We do not have to be afraid, or timid, or embarrassed, or ashamed, or doubtful. We are walking in FAITH and VICTORY! Our God, our Jesus, is with us! The greatest battles have already been won! We have truth on our side! We have life on our side!

Fear and timidity are the by-products of doubt. We’ve all been there. Or at least I know I have. We need to remember that we worship a LIVING God! That our Savior rose from the dead and is WITH US! We are called to BE BOLD for our God! Be STRONG in times of difficulty so that doubt doesn’t get its icy grip on our hearts.

Jesus died and ROSE AGAIN. He died and then defeated death by rising once more, forevermore.  Our Jesus did not abandon us to fight the despair and evil of this world on our own. He lives in us and walks with us daily. When you have the spirit of the LIVING GOD actually dwelling within your very being, how can we not be BOLD and STRONG?? 

Fill us to the brim, Holy Spirit, so we can be BOLD! So that we can exude God’s power and Christ's love! 

An Extraordinary Ordinary

“They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God...”-Acts 2:46-47

Photo credit: Static.Guim

This may seem obvious to some, but I often find myself forgetting that the Bible is a highlights reel, not an exhaustive historical account spanning millennia. I have, on more than one occasion, found myself a little depressed at how “ordinary” my faith life is and has been. I often feel like God isn’t doing a whole lot in my life or through me, because I’m just “going with the flow” of daily routine.

Occasionally the Bible gives snippets of “ordinary”, such as the early believers hanging out and eating together, and I find myself wishing for more of these glimpses into the ordinary life of Bible heroes. Like, what did Jesus do on his days off? He was in ministry for three years--that’s almost 1100 days---but the Bible only recounts a few sermons and miracles. While John says, “Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, ...even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written."  I still think that Jesus had to have had some “ordinary” days in his ministry. Quiet days with his disciples, or days of journeying from point A to point B.

Even if Jesus didn’t take a single day off in his 3 years of ministry, what about his 30 years of life prior to ministry?? This is an area that definitely has me curious. What was Jesus like as a child, teenager, and young man? What was his day-to-day life like? I would wager a guess that his pre-ministry life was pretty ordinary and routine. However, I’m sure we can all agree that his life and faith was still anything but ordinary.

Jesus was in active miraculous ministry for approximately 10% of his life on earth (and within that 10% we don’t know how much time was spent doing something extraordinary---take out time sleeping, eating, and “off” days and that number probably drops to 5%). His pre-ministry years were a blessing. Comfortable routine and uneventful ordinary are the times of preparation. We learn skills and grow into faithful people who can be effective when we are called by God for those extraordinary moments of miraculous wonder.

These are the things I have to try to remember when I am antsy to do “big things” for God and when I feel like “ordinary” life isn't enough. I fall into the trap of thinking that my day-to-day life is a waste of time and that I’m not doing anything worthwhile if I’m not out there actively preaching or some other extraordinary reflection of faith. I forget that ordinary days are necessary to prepare for extraordinary days, because extraordinary days are also extremely difficult days. Just look at the sacrifices the heroes of the Bible had to make in order to be considered extraordinary in their faith: Abraham had to be willing to kill his only son (that he had waited nearly 100 years for!). Noah had to be willing to spend an incredible amount of time and money looking crazy to his peers. David had to be willing to die facing a giant. Jesus and his disciples had to be willing to give all their time, energy, and--eventually--their lives. Extraordinary faith requires painful sacrifice.

We live in an age of celebrity. An age where doing something amazing gets you fame and fortune. Perhaps my desire for the extraordinary is really a naive and selfish desire for recognition--by God and by others. Instead of trying to be extraordinary, I should be looking for the everyday “extraordinary ordinary” that God has made possible. The extraordinary facts that follow me daily are:

-I am an adopted child of God!

-I have had all my impossible sin-debts paid for because God’s only Son died for me

-Death has been conquered by that Son who rose again---I will never die! I do not have to fear death!

-I have the honour and opportunity to have a personal, intimate, one-on-one relationship with the God of the Universe. Yep, that’s right… I can talk directly to him anytime I want. We can have a conversation.

-I have the very Spirit of God living in me. This means that God can transform me and direct me and maybe---just maybe---do extraordinary things through me.

Photo credit: Eaglewings Ministries

A day in Christ is never ordinary. We live a life that, through faith, is an extraordinary ordinary. Our purpose isn’t to try and make our lives/faith extraordinary for God. Our job is to be on the lookout for the extraordinary things God is doing everyday and join Him there, in whatever way He enables us. This means we might be in the cheering crowd simply praising God for what He’s doing, or it might mean we’re thrown into the middle of the game as a key player that God is going to use to score a touchdown. Running onto the field to try and make ourselves extraordinary is not only unhelpful, we’re in for a serious reality check and a lesson in humility when the Coach kicks us off to the sidelines and tells us to get out His way.

We have an extraordinary God and He is the only one who can do amazing things. He has told us outright, “If you remain in me, and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5). Our job is simple: remain in Him, follow His direction and amazing things will happen. Try to do it on our own and we’ll end up worse than ordinary---we’ll end up a nuisance.

Photo Credit: Deanna Shrodes

God,

I’m ready to stop trying so hard. It was really exhausting anyway. Open my eyes and help me to see the extraordinary things that you are doing all around me every day, and allow me to join You in whatever way You see fit. I can be a cheering fan in the stands, a janitor cleaning up after others, or a key player in the game, it’s up to You. Help me to see the importance and honour in each of these roles and to resist the temptation to force myself into a role that I’m not ready for and You don’t intend for me.

Thank you, Father, for the “highlight reel” You’ve already created in my own life. Don’t let me forget those highlights in my ordinary or low times.

Praying in and through Christ,

Amen.

Consumed

Today's Passage: Hebrews 13:1-6

Photo credit: Radiofreethinker

 This past week in my Social Studies 9 class, I was discussing “Consumerism” with my students. I showed them the textbook chapter of how our economy depends on people buying and selling goods and services, and how consuming goods affects people’s identity and quality of life. But then I also went outside of the textbook and had them look at the disadvantages of a consumerist society.

 In this world, especially in our North American society, our worth as individuals and as citizens hinges on what and how much we buy. We cram our driveways with motorized toys. We pack our closets with clothes to fit every event, style, and mood. We pile the debt high in hopes of finding happiness and fulfillment at the top of that mountain… only to realize we’ve become slaves to our money, rather than masters of it. We are shamed into piling that mountain ever higher in the quest for the latest and greatest--to fit in.

I can throw the same facts to you as I had my students consider: life satisfaction survey statistics show that happiness levels have been steadily dropping since the consumerist shift in the 1950s, 6 months after making our purchases we use less than 1% of the products we've bought, and we work more hours as a society now than we have since the age of feudalism (no doubt to pay for all those purchases that end up forgotten or trashed within 6 months).

Photo credit: akingslife.com

What has our love of “stuff” cost us? Beyond money, it’s cost us relationships. It has cost us time.  We’ve given up the increasing joy of loving God and loving others in exchange for the ever decreasing joy of junk.

Now, I’m not saying owning nice things is sinful or bad. God has never said that having money or spending money is wrong… but he has repeatedly warned us against the love of money, the love of material things, and has told us to be disciplined with what we dedicate our time and resources to. Anyone can fall into the trap of loving of money… you don’t have to be rich to have the insatiable desire for more!

 “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you,  never will I forsake you.”

 -Hebrews 13:5

We can be content with what we have because we have something that renders everything else negligible. Big or small, rich or poor, plentiful or scant—we have God who has promised a close relationship with us that he will never walk away from. That is truly priceless.

Jesus’ sacrifice was so that we could have an intimate relationship with the God of the Universe who, for whatever reason, has chosen to fall madly in love with us. In return we have been asked to do two things: Love Him back and Love Others. If anything is getting in the way of that--- siphoning our love, time, energy, or resources--- we need to reflect on our priorities.

Jesus chose to build a kingdom of love. A kingdom of relationships and of selfless sacrifice. He could have built a kingdom of towering walls, jewels, and riches. But he chose love.

May we follow his example and choose the same.

Hope

Honesty time: I've been struggling with the idea of "hope" for the past 20 months. To me, "hope" sometimes seems cruel. A person can look forward to something so much that they essentially expect it to happen, and when it doesn't, it can feel like your heart has been ripped out and trampled on the ground. 

Photo credit: http://savegoodness.com

Hope is simultaneously encouraged and discouraged in our society. We're urged to be positive and have hopes. But we're cautioned against "getting our hopes up" or "offering false hope." 

The Bible mentions hope a lot. Almost two hundred times! Most of us know the verse in 1 Corinthians 13:13 that names the three things---above all others---that will endure: Love, Faith, and.... Hope. So why does it feel like hope doesn't endure? Why does it feel like it would, in fact, be easier to let go of hope? After all, you can't be disappointed if you don't have any expectations. 

I found another verse about hope that I very closely related to:

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" 

 -Proverbs 13:12 (NIV)

Oh, how heartsick I have been these past 20 months in the quest to conceive a child! For you it might not be a child... perhaps it is freedom from illness, a promotion, escape from debt, a full recovery, a repaired relationship... whatever the case may be, we are united in our fervent prayers for fulfilled hope, the spark of anticipation when we think maybe, just maybe, it's going to happen for us, and then... the downturn into despair when we realize what we had hoped for didn't happen the way we wanted. 

But does the Bible promise that every hope we have will be fulfilled? I've had a great many hopes fulfilled---the hope for success, the hope for a husband, the hope for a healed marriage, the hope for stability/security... but it only ever seems like the hope at hand is the only one that matters, and I quickly forget the "tree of life" I already have planted! 

Of the nearly two hundred references to hope in the bible, I quickly came to the realization that the hope God promises fully and completely is that we have Salvation through Christ and that we are loved dearly by Him. We have hope that, no matter how terribly this life treats us, we have an eternity to make up for it in His care. We have hope that, no matter how many times our hopes for other things--noble things!--are dashed, He does actually love us passionately and that His plans and timing truly are for our best, no matter how unlikely that may seem in our time of despair. 

The true tragedy isn't when our hopes in this life aren't fulfilled... the true tragedy is when we abandon our hope in God. Instead of running to the source of wisdom, love, and goodness, we are sometimes tempted to retreat into our own little shell of despair. And what happens? More despair. True hopelessness.  

Sometimes God defers or denies the things we hope for. But we have one Great Hope that we know will endure and be fulfilled---the hope that God is who He says He is, and that He does what He says He will do. When we cling to that Great Hope we will find renewed strength and our soul will take wings. Our mortal hopes may be in line with God's glorious plan, and He may fulfill them for us now or in the future. Or, our mortal hopes may not be in line with His plan and He may steer us in a different direction. The redirection may be painful and may not make sense for a very long time, but the Great Hope promises it will all make sense someday. 

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." 

-Jeremiah 29:11-13

God. Hears. Us. Dear Stumbler---He hears us! He is not ignoring us. When we run to the Great Hope and seek the Source of that Hope, we will find our Father. We will find Him and we will know Him. And the key to happiness and peace despite all life's disappointments? Trust. Trusting that God's words are true. That He has a plan, and that it is a good plan. 

"Why so downcast, oh my soul? Put your hope in God!" 

-Psalm 42, 43 

Let us not fuel despair by turning away from the source of Hope. Let us not shake our fists in anger at the Father who sees the Big Picture and knows exactly how we're supposed to fit in to that glorious work of art. Let us cling to the Great Hope that endures and that is guaranteed to be fulfilled, rather than chasing after the mortal hopes that fail. 

Photo credit: http://www.backinskinnyjeans.com/

"...those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles..."

Isaiah 40:31

Shedding of Blood = Forgiveness?!

When I prepare for these messages, I will pray that God’s words be spoken and not my own. I find passages within scripture that stand out to me. Sometimes I see those scriptures in a new light, and sometimes questions linger. One portion of today’s message, in Hebrews 9, that I had lingering questions on was in verse 22 “Without the shedding of blood there can be no forgiveness of sins.”

Photo credit: http://lifeverlaasting.blogspot.ca/2012/04/crucifixion-jesus-crucifixion-from.html

(The above link also has an interesting article about the crucifixion from a medical perspective)

This is a verse that immediately tweaked the question “Why?” Why couldn’t God have done it any other way? Why does it have to be this way? I searched through commentaries and other sermons online and I found a particularly moving sermon delivered by Reverend Charles Spurgeon in 1857. I wanted to share some portions with you.

First, he begins his sermon by telling a story of three “fools”. The first fool is a soldier, wounded in battle, who—instead of asking if the wound is fatal or if the doctor has the means to heal him—asks by what sword and by which soldier he was wounded. The second fool is a ship captain who, in the midst of a fierce storm as gone into his quarters to ponder from where this storm came, rather than steering his ship to safety. The third fool is a regular person, sick and wounded with sin in the midst of the storm of Almighty vengeance, who---instead of asking how he can be saved—he is ponders what the origin of evil is.

Spurgeon goes on to address the very question I had. He says: “But some men will say that God's way of saving men, by shedding of blood, is a cruel way, an unjust way, an unkind way; and all kinds of things they will say of it….If you have any faults to find with your Maker, fight your battles out with him at last. But take heed before you throw the gauntlet down; it will go ill with a worm when he fighteth with his Maker, and it will go ill with you when you contend with him. The doctrine of atonement when rightly understood and faithfully received, is delightful, for it exhibits boundless love, immeasurable goodness, and infinite truth; but to unbelievers it will always be a hated doctrine.”

“O sinner, are there tears in your eyes? Look through them. Do you see that man in the garden? That man sweats drops of blood for you. Do you see that man on the cross? That man was nailed there for you. Oh! if I could be nailed on a cross this morning for you all, I know what you would do: you would fall down and kiss my feet, and weep that I should have to die for you. But sinner, lost sinner, Jesus died for you—for you… he died for no one in vain.”

At communion, we have emblems representing the body and blood of our Savior. We are asking the wrong question if we wonder why it had to be this way. Why Salvation is in Christ alone and through his bloodshed. The right thing for the saved to say is thank you. The right question for the lost is how is it that I can be saved?

I find myself too often getting caught up on the confusing “whys” in my faith, rather than accepting that there are things I will never know or understand---the only important thing I need to know at this point as that Christ died so that I could be forgiven and made right with God. And that is worth being thankful for.

Rest in Peace: Not Just for the Dead

Rest is something so elusive in today’s society. People pay thousands of dollars to go on vacations or get massages. Sleeping pills are among the top most-abused drugs in the country. We long for the weekend, but often fail to find rest there as we’ve packed our schedule with things to do, chores to complete, and people to see. Our society is traveling along at the speed of light and we are weary, depressed, and anxious people because of it.

Photo Credit: http://www.jcsnotebook.org/rest-in-god/

 Hebrews 4 reminds us that even the God of the Universe, the All-Powerful, the Almighty took a day to rest and urges us to enter into rest with Him. However, many of us misinterpret what “rest” is and what it looks like. Some of us see rest as falling into bed at the end of a long day to try and squeeze in a few hours of sleep before we get up to begin the routine again. Some of us view rest as procrastination---holding off on the things that require effort until we absolutely have no choice but to face them. Still others view rest as escaping into some form of entertainment—a good book, a video game, a social media site. However, all of these things leave us unfulfilled and weary.

All of this reminded me of another passage. I remember our Savior’s words when he said “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). It seems to me that true rest requires a choice and an action on our part. We must first go to Jesus. We must go to him, quiet ourselves, and trade our burdens, worries, and concerns for the lighter load he offers. He asks that we listen to him and learn from him and promises that he is gentle and humble-hearted. In this we will find rest for our very souls. We may be able to recharge our physical bodies in a variety of ways, but our spirits will wither and buckle under the heavy loads this world places upon us unless we remember to rest in Christ.

So let us make that choice today. Let us remind ourselves not only of Christ’s sacrifice, but his promises. Rest requires that we go to Him and choose his way over ours. Our weary souls will find the peace they long for only when they are brought back into communion with God, through Christ, and in the Holy Spirit. 

Spend some time with the Peacegiver. Resting in Peace should not be limited to tombstones and obituaries. 

Touched by an Angel or Adopted by God?

...To which of the angels did God ever say,“You are my Son;    today I have become your Father”? 

Or again,“I will be his Father,    and he will be my Son”? 

And again, when God brings his firstborn into the world, he says,“Let all God’s angels worship him.” 

In speaking of the angels he says,“He makes his angels spirits,    and his servants flames of fire.”
  

But about the Son he says,“Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever;    a scepter of justice will be the scepter of your kingdom. You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness;    therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.”

 --Hebrews 1:5-9 NIV

Photo Credit: Malleni-Stock, deviantart

We live in a society that seems to have no problem with angels. Angels are a pleasant thought to many people. We have poems about them. We have figurines of them. Some people have tattoos of them. In a society that often refuses to believe in God, we seem to readily accept angels in some degree. We like the idea of supernatural beings watching over us. Beings made of pure goodness that protect us from the bad things this world has to offer. Beings that are silent guardians and don’t try to meddle in our lives or our decisions.

Hebrews 1 makes a couple things very clear, however. First, angels are not the delicate creatures of beauty that Hallmark would have us believe. They are “flames of fire”. They are warriors. They were created to fight in the army of God. Occasionally their job may be to protect people, but their primary purpose is to protect God’s kingdom. They are strong servants of God and loyal to Him alone.

Next, and perhaps a more uncomfortable truth for our world to recognize, is that angels are inferior to Christ. Angels worship Jesus Christ, who is recognized as God and sitting on the throne of God. Jesus is our mighty King and commander of that elite warrior army of fiery angels.

So why is it easier to accept angels but not Christ? Because belief in angels comes with no obligations. We do not need to make any life changes to acknowledge an invisible, shiny force that makes us feel better when we’re scared. Angels become a magical force to serve our purposes (even though that is completely inaccurate in regards to the reality of angels).  However, belief in Christ comes with huge implications for our lives. Christ is not a “force” to be used for our purposes. Christ is the mighty God King to which we need to alter our lives for his purposes.

However, this truth is only difficult to accept if you do not understand why. Jesus deserves to be commander, Lord, King and God of our lives because he paid an insurmountable debt for us. Innocent and holy he willingly gave up his life so that we could have every wrong and terrible thing we’ve done wiped out of the record books. He took on punishment so that we could have a privilege that not even the mighty angels get---adoption into God’s family. The honor of being a child of God.

So let us keep that in mind as we live our lives in Christ.

Living the Godly Life

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.
Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
-2 Peter 1:3-11

Wow. I don't know about you but I found this passage to be amazing! It has so many deep truths packed into a few short verses! I'm pretty sure these verses appealed to me because the spoke comforting words to my perfectionist nature, as well as satisfied my "student" side by giving direct instructions. I just love it when the bible gets specific, and yet remains universally relevant through the ages!

1) God equips us to live a godly life.

This passage begins by stating that God enables us all to live a godly life when we are in intimate relationship with him. This should silence any legalistic whispers in your heart and mind! I don't know about you folks, but growing up I found myself emphasizing good works as a means to impress God. Living a works-based faith is tiresome, worrisome, and highly unsatisfying--and it's no wonder!-- a works-based faith will always end in failure!

However, a faith that starts with relationship will automatically end up in a godly life! Close relationship with God allows our hearts and actions to be changed miraculously because we allow God to have a direct impact on our lives. We don't have to try to live a "good life" because we have allowed God to have such an intimate role in our lives that our actions will automatically be good.

Think of it this way:  In works-based faith I try to do good things because I want to "manipulate" God to love me. In love-based faith, I do good things because I love God so much!

2) Faith is built, step-by-step, with the end result being perfect LOVE

Love is a rare virtue in our world. I'm not talking about "Rom-Com" love or infatuation. I'm talking about love that sacrifices until it hurts, even for people who will never return the favor. The perfection of the Christian faith is to be like Christ, which is to love sacrificially. However, this passage points out that we do not spontaneously learn to love in this manner. There are stages of growth and maturity that we need to go through to get to the point where we can love and these stages will require effort.

a) Faith: -first comes the miracle we have been called to--belief in the grace God has offered us through Christ. However, we shouldn't stop here! After we recognize the truly amazing gift God has given to us by calling us to faith, it is now our job to continue to grow.
b) Goodness: -our actions should reflect our faith.
c) Knowledge: -our faith should be intelligent and informed. We shouldn't be drifting through life on "good feelings". Our faith has a legacy of wisdom and history, we should know the story (Bible) so that we can be assured of our place within that story.
d) Self-Control: -our faith, goodness, and knowledge should now enable us to see others as God sees them. We should be able to control our own impulses because we see the "big picture". We can be patient with people and circumstances.
e) Perseverance: -because of our patience, we can persevere through the tough times because we have hope in the end result.
f) Godliness: -persevering through tough times, with God at our side, increases our faith and understanding of God and his ways, enabling us to be more like him.
g) Mutual affection: -we are able to treat others with respect and kindness.
h) Love: -we are able to serve others without concern for ourselves.

I think that where we land in this process has a lot to do with where our relationship is with God. If I haven't put any effort into my relationship with my heavenly Father, sometimes all I am able to do is simply believe. However, the more I get to know Him, the more He enables me to reach the next "level" of faith. The key is we should not attempt to work on fostering these qualities in ourselves without God. We need to maintain and deepen our intimate relationship with Christ throughout the whole process, and it will be God who equips us, rather than our cheap counterfeit version.

3) Never Stumble Again

Well, I imagine it would be quite obvious to you all why this phrase stood out to me. The fact of the matter is, I get stuck trying too hard to "be good", that I forget to love God. I will never grow past a very weak faith and will always be tripping over myself and back into sin if I insist on creating my own faith separate from relationship with God. I need to stop trying to manipulate God into "liking" me and start getting to know Him and start falling madly in love with Him...everything else will fall into place if I can cultivate a deep and meaningful relationship with Him.

It's no wonder people fail to see the "appeal" of the Christian "religion"... so many Christians live their faith as a rule book of "To Dos" and "Do Not Dos." Instead, Christianity should be a vibrant, satisfying, and joyful personal relationship with the God of the Universe! What could possibly be more exciting that that?!

A Stumbler's Walk with Christ: A Personal Testimony

“If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” –Romans 10:9-10 (NIV)

I am fortunate and blessed to have a legacy of faith in my family. For as many generations as my family can remember, we have been Christians. There is a heritage in Christ. However, that’s not to say that my lineage hasn't had its share of non-believers. Every individual needs to make the choice for him or herself. Some choose to continue the legacy of faith, and some don’t. The important thing here is that Christianity isn't just a family tradition for me. Christianity is a hard-fought faith. My faith has been a journey for me and I have wrestled with difficulties and doubt along the way—which is how my blog developed its moniker!

I’ll be the first to admit that I am not perfect, nor do I have all the answers. However, in exploring my faith honestly and critically, I can resolutely and with peace of mind declare: Jesus is true. Jesus is the perfect Son of God who was killed and miraculously resurrected so that I (along with anyone else who acknowledges the truth) could be reunited with God.

However, being the emotional and academic person that I am, this declaration is not always an easy decision to stick to. Becoming a Christian is more than a momentary “conversion experience.” Being a Christian involves a daily (or even minute-by-minute) decision to put my own desires on the back-burner and bring God’s agenda to the front. It’s not easy, and I have had more than my fair share of screw-ups.

My earliest memories begin to surface as the age of five. I remember telling my mom one night at bedtime that I wanted to be a Christian. She guided me through a simple prayer…

Dear Jesus,

I believe you died for me and rose again. Forgive me for my sins. I want you to come into my heart.

Amen.

While many have prayed some variation of a “Sinner’s Prayer”, this moment was the beginning of a journey for me. In my early childhood I remember being frightened of not “really” being saved, and therefore repeated some variation of a Sinner’s Prayer over and over again throughout childhood and adolescence. For better or for worse, I was raised in a denomination that I now consider fairly legalistic—I feel like the emphasis was on rules and being saved from hell, rather than the emphasis being on grace and a relationship with God.

However, regardless of the pitfalls of some of the ideas I had growing up; the blessing comes in the fact that I had a good start. I was raised in a family of faith and in a caring church community. I am forever thankful for that early kick-start!

At age six I decided it was time to take the next step in my faith commitment—I decided to get baptized. For those unfamiliar with this ritual, this can seem a bit strange… however, this is the symbolic expression of a Christian’s commitment to their faith. It represents the death of selfish desires and the resurrection of righteousness in Christ. I know that’s a lot of “Christianese”, but suffice it to say that this was an important step in my journey. The timing of my baptism was unusual, however. I do not believe in infant baptism, and as such most people that grow up in a similar denomination wait until adulthood to get baptized. However, I was a tenacious and zealous child and as such I was able to demonstrate an understanding of baptism to my pastor that convinced him I was ready to take that step!

My tenacity of faith continued through my adolescence. I was a passionate child, and while I’m often nostalgic for that carefree heart-first faith, I know it sometimes got me into trouble. My legalistic knowledge of my faith led me to be pushy and judgmental when it came to “witnessing” to my friends. While my intentions may have been good, I’m afraid I went about advertising my faith in the wrong way.

Along the way I went to countless nights of Bible camps and many Christian youth conferences/retreats. Being a Christian was easy. Everything seemed black and white. Emotions ran on over-drive.

But one day, reality hit.

In August 2003, at the age of 16, I went to Ecuador for a year-long exchange trip. This trip affected me in many ways and, by no means the least of these effects, was the fact that this was my first taste of independence. This was my first experience of stepping outside the bubble of protection my parents had carefully constructed around me. I was on my own.

This year was, simultaneously, one of the best and worst years of my life. I cried out to God in my homesickness and loneliness, and, for one of the only times in my life I was completely dependent on Him. As a result, my relationship with God was closer than it ever had been. God was the only one who understood the words I spoke for many months as I struggled to learn the language. He was the only one I could go to, and my utter dependence on him was rewarded by a rich, fulfilling and very real relationship. God was real and near. God spoke to my heart so loudly it was nearly audible.

Ah, but how quickly blessings and mini-miracles are forgotten when the distractions of life creep back in. This seems to be a theme in my life. I have been blessed with some acute close encounters with God. Mini-miracles that I know God had a direct hand in. In those moments I am on a mountaintop and my faith is made real and all doubts removed. However, it doesn't take long for the memory of those moments to fade and for life to pile on the distractions once more.

Another one of these “mini-miracles” happened in my marriage. My husband and I met in high school and were shopping for engagement rings before graduation. We married at the tender age of 19, in 2006. I have no regrets in how young we got married, but we had a great deal of maturing to do and we had forced ourselves to do so together—slowly and painfully.

In 2010, these growing pains reached a critical point. We were both incredibly selfish people and had said and done things to hurt one another along the way, and sparing the unnecessary details, our marriage reached a precarious tipping point. At that point, as I was staring over the cliff’s edge and seeing the death of my marriage looming before me, God took over. He gave me the words to say, patience and love like I’ve never experienced before, and a saturating peace that could only come from Him. God saved my marriage and transformed my husband and me in the process.

It was after the revitalization of my marriage that I made the decision to actively return to my faith. I truly believe God used that heartbreaking experience to strengthen my faith in Him. For years—our entire young marriage—my husband and I had been drifting in our faith and stagnating--we all but walked away entirely. However, after that restoration of our marriage we were drawn back to Him and He transformed our very hearts. My husband and I were both healed and delivered from some very damaging sins.

And yet… the joy of blessings is once again replaced by hopelessness and doubt…

Fast forward to the near-present you will find my husband and me struggling with unexplained infertility. We have been trying for over a year to conceive a child, to no avail. I find it tempting to slip back into despair and accuse God, rather than trust him. However, I have once again come back to a point where I am convinced that God is ready to perform another “mini-miracle” in my life. God has always used the most difficult circumstances of my life to draw me back to Him.

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” –Romans 5:3-5 (NLT)  

^“ Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” –James 1:12(NIV)

Why do I believe in God, in Christ? Beyond all the “academic” reasons I've explored already, I believe in God because I have experienced him in very real ways. I have always felt a tugging at my heart in my darkest days, as though the Spirit within me is straining at the bars of my rib cage to drag me back to God. The Prodigal Son didn't recognize his need for his Father until he reached rock-bottom. A person doesn't appreciate water until he’s truly thirsting. A soul doesn't understand its need for God until it’s in turmoil.

I am growing. I am an imperfect person who struggles with anger, impatience, selfishness, and jealousy, but I feel God shaping me and teaching me to be a better person. No one can refute the relationship I know I have with God on a very real, very personal level. I have felt and seen God work in my life. God has brought me through life’s difficulties with a fortified soul. God is proving to me that he is faithful.

And because God is faithful, I have hope in dark times. I have purpose in suffering. I have meaning in life. I have an eternal future that starts today. I have joy because I know I’m forgiven for the times I mess up. I have peace in the promises to come.

Thank you, God. 


*This personal testimony was the conclusion to the "Why Believe?" series

Disciples and Followers of Christ

“Jesus said [to Thomas], ‘So, you believe because you’ve seen with your own eyes. Even better blessings are in store for those who believe without seeing.’” –John 20:29 (The Message)

In my opinion, some of the strongest evidence for the truth of Christ lies with his followers—both ancient and modern. First, we must consider Jesus’ hand-picked disciples and those who knew him while he was alive. After Jesus’ death, there would be no reason to be loyal. Some assert that his disciples faked Jesus’ resurrection. However, it is important to note that Pilate had already thought of this and had ordered that the tomb be guarded to avoid this from happening (Matthew 27).

Beyond that, however, we must also consider the cost of clinging to Christ’s miraculous resurrection and claim of divinity to his followers. Nearly all the disciples were tortured and killed for their beliefs. All early believers (and many still today) were persecuted mercilessly for their beliefs. Now, it just doesn't make any logical sense whatsoever for someone to stick to a lie on pain of torture and death. People suffer and die for truth, not for lies.

Consider how one writer explains this fact:

Let's use this analogy: Mr. X decides to invent a fantastic story in order to receive wealth and fame. The media goes hog wild and is willing to pay him for his story. But one day the government shows up at Mr. X's door, arrests him, tortures him, and threatens to kill him for his testimony. Chances are, a sane Mr. X would confess to the sham. 

Scenario B: Mr. X decides to invent a fantastic story knowing he would be met with persecution, hardship, and death. Would a sane Mr. X go through with this plot? Probably not. 

Scenario C: Mr. X, his family, his friends, and his coworkers all decide to invent a fantastic story knowing they would be tortured, imprisoned, and killed for their testimony. Does this seem plausible? Not remotely. 

The early Christian witnesses had nothing to gain and everything to lose with their testimony- many losing their property, freedom, and even their lives. A sane person may be willing to die for something they believe to be true but no one would die for something they knew was a lie.

Unlike many religions where the core beliefs hinge on the subjective experience of one spiritual leader, Christianity and its events are corroborated by many historical documents and the testimony of many people. The New Testament provides journalistic evidence from many perspectives of the events that happened before and after Christ’s death.

We are fortunate that God is sympathetic to our tendency towards doubt! Jesus didn't just appear to one or two people after his resurrection. God made sure Christ’s resurrection could be independently verified by many different sources, not just one or two individuals.

Jesus appeared 12 times todifferent group sizes ranging from just one person to 500 people: 

1) Mary Magdalene (Mark 16.9-11; John 20.11-18) 

2) The other women at the tomb (Matthew 28.8-10) 

3) Peter in Jerusalem (Luke 24.34; 1 Cor. 15.5) 

4) The two travelers on the road (Mark 16.12,13) 

5) Ten disciples behind closed doors (Mark 16.14; Luke 24.36-43; John 20.19-25) 

6) All the disciples, with Thomas (excluding Judas Iscariot) (John 20.26-31; 1 Cor. 15.5) 

7) Seven disciples while fishing (John 21.1-14) 

8) Eleven disciples on the mountain (Matthew 28.16-20) 

9) A crowd of 500 (1 Cor. 15.6) 

10) Jesus' brother James (1 Cor. 15.7) 

11) Those who watched Jesus ascend to heaven (Luke 24.44-49; Acts 1.3-8) 

12) Paul  (1 Cor. 15.8-9, Gal. 1.13-16, Acts 9.1-8, 22.9, all of chapters 22 and 26, 1 Cor. 15.10-20; Gal. 2.1-10)

I, personally, find Paul’s experience to be the most dramatic and convincing. Paul had absolutely no reason whatsoever to make up a story about Christ’s resurrection. For those unfamiliar with Paul’s story, let me just say this guy was anti-Christian. He made a great living hunting down and killing early Christians, until one day—dramatically—Jesus made an appearance (after his death) and told Paul to leave his followers alone. There is absolutely no reason why a person who is respected, supported, and well-compensated would suddenly turn around and follow the religion he’s been hell-bent on destroying! No reason unless, of course, he miraculously discovered beyond a shadow of a doubt that the religion he was persecuting was actually true!

Finally, you have the proliferation of this belief and the billions of people who claim Jesus is Lord, Son of God, Saviour of the world. Across time and culture, people are acknowledging with their hearts and minds that all of this makes sense and rings true. People give up their own lives in metaphorical and very literal ways to follow Jesus and all he stood for. People have made—and continue to make—costly sacrifices in the name of Jesus Christ, Son of God, Messiah, TRUTH.

To take this to a personal level, my next and final installment in my “Why Believe” series will be my personal testimony and the impact God and Christ have had on my life. I hope this journey through “Why Believe” has impacted you in some way. I hope that, as a believer, it has bolstered your faith and reassured you. I hope that, perhaps as an unbeliever or a doubter, that at very least this lays out where Christians are coming from in their faith; but more than that, I hope it has made you ponder your own beliefs and if this perhaps makes sense and sounds like a truth you’d like to pursue, please feel free to email me.


*This was part 6 of 7 in the "Why Believe?" series