Truly Good Person?

When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly.

-1 Corinthians 4:12b-13a

 Occasionally I give a brief meditation prior to communion being distributed to the church on Sundays. This week is one of those weeks. In preparing for my message, I was reflecting on how a relationship with God is like a marriage, and how it requires sacrificial love and undying commitment. Additionally, I talked about how the communion table can act as a sort of "vow renewal" ceremony between God and his followers (I'll post the full text of the communion message later this week). However, in reflecting on that and my "vows" to God, I began to feel horrible about how spectacularly I fail in loving my God and following Him.

Anyone can be a good, patient, loving person when life is going well. The true test of a person's character comes when life is difficult, unfair, or painful. All too often I find myself failing miserably and reverting back to a toddler mentality when life isn't going my way and I begin to throw a tantrum at God's feet.

"Why me? No fair! Arg!" 

*stomp, grumble, grumble, cry*

The mask comes off, and the ugly starts to show.

The worst part of it all is catching a glimpse of my reflection and realizing that I'm not the person I thought I was.

I grew up in a church that, I've come to realize, was quite legalistic. Good Christians are good people who do good things and are, therefore, good Christians. It was a cycle of works-based faith. However, in reflecting on my guilt today and the countless times I've failed in the "good person" department, I've come to a very (simplistically) profound and freeing realization:

There is no such thing as a truly good person. 

There is only God working in people who let Him. 

For many "churched" people, this is kind of a "well, duh" statement. It's theology 101. However, this is the first time it's truly hit me. I spend so much time trying so very hard to be a good person and do the "right" thing, that I forget to spend time pursuing God in order to do His thing. I need to work on my faith and deepen my relationship with Him and stop worrying about my feeble attempts to impress Him. 

"...no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works..."     -Romans 3:20

"...at the present time there is a remnant chosen by grace. And if by grace, then it cannot be based on works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace."  -Romans 11:5-6 

Trying to impress God by "being a good person" is like a toddler trying to impress their parent by painting a "masterpiece" on the living room wall with crayon. Not only will we fail miserably, we will likely receive the complete opposite reaction of what we were hoping for. We'll only end up frustrating/angering God rather than impressing Him! What God wants is a relationship with us. We were already saved by grace. There is no need to impress anyone anymore. Our job now is to fall madly in love with God and to trust Him. Once we accomplish those two things, everything else will fall into place---not because we suddenly became "better" or more impressive, but because our hearts will be finally in a place where God can work through us.

 This is good news! Gone is the oppression of guilt and perfectionism! *poof!* We are FREE!