"Each of you must respect your mother and father" -Leviticus 19:3
"Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly" -Leviticus 19:32
"...women will respect their husbands, from the least to the greatest" -Esther 1:20
"'A son honors his father, and a slave his master. If I am a father, where is the honor due me? If I am a master, where is the respect due me?' says the LORD Almighty." -Malachi 1:6
"Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor." -Romans 13:7
Photo credit: Futurity.org
GETTING RESPECT
"He is a righteous and God-fearing man, who is respected by all" -Acts 10:22
"...make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. " -1 Thessalonians 4:11-12
"Qualifications for Overseers and Deacons
Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full[a] respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.
In the same way, deacons are to be worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain. They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.
In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.
A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well. Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus."
-1 Timothy 3:1-12
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As I was thinking about and researching "respect", I found some interesting patterns. In this day and age, we seem to think that we only have to give respect if we deem the other person somehow "worthy" of our respect. It's as though everyone else has to live up to our own personal standards, and if they don't we can scoff at them and shrug them off.
The Bible talks a LOT more about giving respect than receiving respect. And you know what? Nowhere does it say that we are to respect people if we think they "deserve" it. There are just some things that automatically qualify people to demand our respect--no matter how we feel about it.
If someone has authority over us, in some manner, we are expected to respect them --- parents, those older than us, our bosses, oh and, ya'know... God. But what does it really mean to respect someone?
Well, our old friend "Dictionary" has a couple ideas:
Respect noun:
3: esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability
4: deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment
So, it comes down to two forms--of which you can choose one or both. Respect can either be esteem (admiration--a feeling), and/or it can be deference (humble submission--an action). The problem most people run into, is that they think just because they don't feel warm fuzzy feelings for someone, that they are then entitled to skip the deference part. That's just not true. Like it or not, we are expected to treat authority figures with respect. There is a hierarchy to society---it's been there since the dawn of time---and God expects His children to be respectful people.
We are often horribly disrespectful to others because our selfish desires and expectations aren't being met. Even in our dealings with God; we will sometimes become disrespectful when we speak with Him because, well, we're mad at Him or we don't like the way He's handling things. The bottom line is: it doesn't matter. Hopefully the esteem is there, but even when it isn't, the deference is always required and expected. Some level of respect must be maintained.
Now, granted, there are some people who we rarely esteem and admire. This makes it very difficult to be humble and submissive to them. It's for this exact reason that, when it comes to getting respect, God is a LOT stricter with his followers. He expects us to be respectable people---in all senses of the word. Just take a look and re-read the larger passage I posted from Timothy. Look at ALL the adjectives that are packaged in with the descriptions of "respectable" people:
Righteous. Faithful. Temperate. Self-Controlled. Hospitable. Able to teach. Not a party-er. Gentle. Not argumentative. Not greedy. Good to their family. Good manager. Godly. Humble. Good reputation. Sincere. Honest. Wise. Guilt-free. Not a gossip. Trustworthy. Hard-worker. Makes his own living.
Take a good, hard look at that list. Really. As you reflect on people you've scoffed and shrugged off as "unworthy" of your respect, ask yourself: how worthy are you of respect?
As I looked through those attributes and tried to "grade" myself according to the standard set out in the Bible, I realized... I don't measure up. I fail in nearly every single one of those categories. Sure, I'm a teacher by trade and I have made a decent career... but what about being self-controlled? Humble? Guilt-free? Gentle? Avoiding gossip?
It's a good thing our God is a God of GRACE and MERCY! I hope I remember that mercy the next time I come across a difficult person that I feel isn't "worthy" of my respect.
Photo credit: patgoltz, flickr
