Church Shopping: Part One

Finding a Church to Call "Home"

As I mentioned in my very first post to this website, I've had difficulty maintaining a regular church attendence for the past few years. I have a few reasons (read "excuses") for my lapses in church attendence. Sometimes it was as simple as fatigue--I was just too tired. Sunday was my only day to sleep in, so occasionally I took the day and indulged in a few extra hours. Other times my husband didn't feel like going, and I really didn't want to sit in a pew all by myself, so I inevitably stayed home with him. The main reason, however, is I found it difficult to find a church that felt like "home".

I grew up in a Christian home and we attended the same church ever since we moved to my hometown when I was 8 years old. I didn't really have any choice in the matter. My parents would drag me out of bed Sunday mornings, get me presentably dressed, and inevitably arrive 10-15 minutes late to the service due to my reluctance to function that early in the morning. While I didn't necessarily appreciate the early wake-up call (seriously... why don't churches have their services in the afternoon?), I did actually quite enjoy church. I learned a lot. I met some fantastic friends. I had some amazing role models. This church was my "home" church. Everyone knew me, and I knew almost everyone.

Things changed once adulthood hit. Suddenly I was married and on my own. I had the freedom to make my own choices. At first I just went along with tradition and continued to attend the church I had called home since I was 8-years-old. However, things got a little complicated when I moved away to attend University in a different city. I didn't have my parents' church to default to anymore. It was time for me to choose my own church for the first time in my life.

I believe I have finally found a potential candidate to call "home" and I have done enough "shopping" to know what I like and what I don't like in a church. I thought I'd share my shopping list so that others can figure out a way to find their own "home" church, as well as so that those who already have a church to call home can see how well their own church measures up to newcomers scouting out the place from the back pew on Sunday mornings.

#1 -- What's the Church's mission statement?
While this might seem like a no brainer to most folks, it is important to know if the church you're about to scout out is actually preaching Biblical truths and not half-truths or lies. I would encourage church shoppers to research potential churches on the internet prior to stepping in the doors. This way you can avoid the awkwardness of sitting through a sermon you know is a bunch of hooey. Know the difference between true Christian churches and half-truth off-shoots.

#2 -- Am I Welcomed?
Yes, most churches have door greeters that smile, shake your hand, and hand you a church bulletin. That's not enough to get me to come back a second time. The number one indicator of a good church to me is when someone from the congregation recognizes I'm new and strikes up a conversation with me. They really try to get to know me and they really try to make me feel welcome.

#3 -- Worship Style
While I'm sure God welcomes all styles of genuine worship, some people just feel more comfortable with certain styles over others. I find I'm a "middle ground" type when it comes to worship. I like a mix of contemporary music and traditional classics. I like to tap my feet to a beat, but I'm not ready to dance in the aisles. Stern, solemn worship services conducted with hymn books in hand can feel intimidating to me (and a lot of other newcomers to the church). It's hard for me to get my heart into a place of awe and adoration for God when the melody makes me depressed and the formality of it makes me self-conscious.

On the flip side, I find I get very overwhelmed--and sometimes downright terrified--of the very... um, well, enthusiastic worship services out there. People jumping around, dancing in aisles, waving flags, jabbering away in languages only they understand is, well, frightening. I'm so worried about getting smacked in the face or bowled over by these lively people, that my focus never seems to quite make it off of the people around me and on to God.

Don't get me wrong, genuine worship in any form is welcomed by God. However, I don't feel I can be genuine in these situations. I need a middle ground. My fellow Stumblers might not need "middle ground"... find whatever style you feel genuine and best able to focus on God.

#4 -- The Message
Aaah, the "meat" of any Church service. I find I respond best to sermons that are straight forward and to the point. I know a good message when I feel as though the Pastor's words are like red-hot arrows shooting into my soul. The "red-hot" can either be passion or conviction. But either way, I leave the service more equipped to be a better person than when I went in.

As with worship styles, I find there is also a continuum when it comes to sermon styles. On the one side you have Pastors who try to rile up their congregation and depend on conjuring up strong emotions within their audience. This is usually done via boistrous, loud repetition of key sermon points, excessive hand gestures, and encouraging "Hallelujahs" and "Amens".

On the other side you have Pastors who approach their message very cerebrally. You can tell these pastors are very intellegent and their sermons often sound like college lectures. They present their sermons as though defending a dissertation. They use big words, logic, and reasoning.

Once again, I find I need a balance between the two. Ultimately, I want a pastor who is letting God speak through him. I want a pastor that understands what message his congregation needs  to hear from their God, rather than what message his congregation wants to hear from their pastor. If a pastor becomes too self-centred and caught up in being popular or respected, he begins to rely too much on his ability to either manipulate people's emotions or their intellectual reasoning. While emotions and intellect have their place in sermons, they should not be the standards by which "good" sermons are measured. Ultimately, a "good" sermon is not necessarily one that made you "think" or made you "feel" a certain way-- a good sermon is one that made you understand.  It connects you better to God and gives you a better understanding of His will and His ways. It equips you to teach others.

#5 -- Do I Have a Place? 

The characteristic that sets "good" churches apart from "excellent" churches is their ability to recognize the gifts God has given to individuals, and finding a place for people do use those gifts. Church should not be a passive place. It should not be a place where Christians go to sit in a pew for 90 minutes, get talked at, and leave. Church should be a training centre. A place where Christians are given the opportunity to discover their spiritual gifts, cultivate their spiritual gifts, and then use their gifts for the glory of God.

A Church should never be stagnate. There should be opportunities for growth for everyone-- whether they have been a Christian for a few hours or a few decades.

God,
I hope you'll come along with me on my church "shopping" trips. I need you to help me find a place where I can grow. Please make it obvious to me which churches will help me in my journey, and which will knock me down. I'm enough of a spiritual clutz as it is... I need a church that will pick me up... not one that will trip me up.
Thank,
-Me





**Coming Up: But... what's really the point of going to church? Is regular church attendance that important? Can't I accomplish the same thing at home in my own personal devotions or by watching TV evangelists?