Ignition Sequence Initiated: Blast Off in 3...2...1...

"For as churning cream produces butter, 

   and as twisting the nose produces blood, 

   so stirring up anger produces strife"

Proverbs 30:33

"But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips."

Colossians 3:8

There is one emotion above all others that seems to just stick to me. This emotion roots itself in my heart and won't let go. My heart burns with an acidic fire. I try to calm myself and shake myself free from its grasp... but anger just doesn't seem to let go of me very easily.

Today was one of those days. I had a bad day. I had a student push the right buttons (or, I suppose, the wrong buttons) and I lost my temper. Harsh words were exchanged and I left the school in a sour mood. Looks like this Stumbler is tripping over her own feet again. *sigh*

I wish that I was able to control myself so diligently that my temper never reached the boiling point, however I'd settle for the ability to shake anger quickly. I hate how my entire day or week can be ruined by a single episode of anger. The situation that riled me up will sear itself into my memory and plague me in my quiet times. The situation will replay in my mind over and over again---each time the anger is as real as the moment it initially happened. 

I am reminded of a quote that I often recite to myself:

"Holding a grudge is like swallowing poison and hoping someone else dies"

I know that dwelling in my anger is dangerous and fruitless... but too often it seems like my anger is holding onto me, not the other way around. But God has warned about the danger of selfish anger. Anger destroys a person from the inside out and their victims from the outside in. 

I want my actions to point people to God, not emphasize my sinfulness. An angry Christian is a faltering Christian. Today I stumbled. May God forgive me and set my feet back on solid ground. May He soothe my angered heart like aloe soothes a burn. 

Tomorrow is a new day. I'll forgive my student for his thoughtless words and I'll extend my apology for my harsh response. Tonight I'll be doing some "soul weeding" to uproot this stubborn anger.

Deep breaths in; prayers whispered out.