Renewing Your Vows

Earlier this week I was asked to relate the following passage to communion and give a short message on my reflection:

When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 

“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 

Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 

The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” 

Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

               -Matthew 19: 1-12 

At first it was difficult to see how a passage about divorce might relate to the act of communion, however, my mind immediately jumped to the opposite of divorce---marriage. Jesus made it very clear in this passage from Matthew that God’s plan for marriage never included divorce as an option, but it was a concession He made because of our sinfulness. God’s true plan for marriage is outlined later in Ephesians, and it was meant to be a shining example of God’s relationship with us--- a relationship of sacrificial love, oneness, and intimacy.

My husband and I have been married for six years and we’ve talked about how wonderful it would be to plan on holding a vow renewal ceremony once every decade or so. A ceremony meant to celebrate the relationship we’ve had and continue to grow in. A ceremony which would allow us to remind ourselves and others that, despite having both good times and bad times, we’re in this for the long haul. A ceremony that, at its core, would remind us that marriage is about sacrifice and our commitment to one another.

In that context, I really came to see the communion table as a vow renewal. Except rather than happening every decade or so, I have the opportunity and responsibility to take part in this every week. It is at this table that I am reminded of my union to Christ. It is at this table that I am reminded how immense my God’s love is for me. It is at this table that I can renew my vows to Him as well---to thank Him for his love and commitment to me, as well as to express my love and commitment to him.

A relationship with God, much like a marriage, takes hard work to nurture and maintain. It isn’t always a blissful “high” of heart-thumping emotions. However, at this table we are reminded that this relationship cost God everything. Jesus did not cling to his rights as God. He gave up power, comfort, privacy, and life itself so that we could be united to Him.

This table reminds me of that and gets me back to the place where I can surrender my rights, ask for forgiveness in the areas where I’ve messed up, and say, once again:

Jesus, I love you. God, I love you. 

Thank you so much. 

I promise to love, cherish, and obey you forever. 

For better or for worse, 

for richer or poorer, 

in sickness and in health. 

For as long as I live, and in the eternity beyond. 

Amen.

Truly Good Person?

When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly.

-1 Corinthians 4:12b-13a

 Occasionally I give a brief meditation prior to communion being distributed to the church on Sundays. This week is one of those weeks. In preparing for my message, I was reflecting on how a relationship with God is like a marriage, and how it requires sacrificial love and undying commitment. Additionally, I talked about how the communion table can act as a sort of "vow renewal" ceremony between God and his followers (I'll post the full text of the communion message later this week). However, in reflecting on that and my "vows" to God, I began to feel horrible about how spectacularly I fail in loving my God and following Him.

Anyone can be a good, patient, loving person when life is going well. The true test of a person's character comes when life is difficult, unfair, or painful. All too often I find myself failing miserably and reverting back to a toddler mentality when life isn't going my way and I begin to throw a tantrum at God's feet.

"Why me? No fair! Arg!" 

*stomp, grumble, grumble, cry*

The mask comes off, and the ugly starts to show.

The worst part of it all is catching a glimpse of my reflection and realizing that I'm not the person I thought I was.

I grew up in a church that, I've come to realize, was quite legalistic. Good Christians are good people who do good things and are, therefore, good Christians. It was a cycle of works-based faith. However, in reflecting on my guilt today and the countless times I've failed in the "good person" department, I've come to a very (simplistically) profound and freeing realization:

There is no such thing as a truly good person. 

There is only God working in people who let Him. 

For many "churched" people, this is kind of a "well, duh" statement. It's theology 101. However, this is the first time it's truly hit me. I spend so much time trying so very hard to be a good person and do the "right" thing, that I forget to spend time pursuing God in order to do His thing. I need to work on my faith and deepen my relationship with Him and stop worrying about my feeble attempts to impress Him. 

"...no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works..."     -Romans 3:20

"...at the present time there is a remnant chosen by grace. And if by grace, then it cannot be based on works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace."  -Romans 11:5-6 

Trying to impress God by "being a good person" is like a toddler trying to impress their parent by painting a "masterpiece" on the living room wall with crayon. Not only will we fail miserably, we will likely receive the complete opposite reaction of what we were hoping for. We'll only end up frustrating/angering God rather than impressing Him! What God wants is a relationship with us. We were already saved by grace. There is no need to impress anyone anymore. Our job now is to fall madly in love with God and to trust Him. Once we accomplish those two things, everything else will fall into place---not because we suddenly became "better" or more impressive, but because our hearts will be finally in a place where God can work through us.

 This is good news! Gone is the oppression of guilt and perfectionism! *poof!* We are FREE!

Return on Investment

 “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be...Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and [God] will give you everything you need.So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today."

                     -Matthew 6: 19-21, 33-34 (NLT)

This was the passage studied in my church this morning, and I found myself jotting down a few notes and fervently underlining, capitalizing, and circling some main ideas that really spoke to me and opened my eyes.

The bottom line was: Time in this life is finite. Time is my most precious treasure--- how am I investing it?

The question our pastor posed today is: What does "seeking the Kingdom of God first" look like? 

All too often, people (**coughcoughmecough**) live our lives in a frenzy. We are over-committed, over-entertained, and over-stressed. We invest our time poorly. Often our time investments are legitimate---relationships, work, etc---however, sometimes our time investments are less noble---Facebook, TV, video games, etc. Whether legitimate or not, often our most precious treasure--our time and energy--is spent on "earthly" things. Our order of focus is:

 Work + Relationships + Fun = Life (+ squeeze God in here somewhere!)

However, really, that equation is completely backwards.

God = Life (+what else do I have time for?)

Obviously, we can't sit around reading our bibles and praying all day long. That's far from what a Godly life is all about. However, we are asked to seek Him and His will first. This means a few things:

1) God is an integral part of my day. I should be praying to Him, thinking about Him, and thanking Him every step of the way.
2) God's Word is first on the "To Do" list. I shouldn't go to bed without digging into my Bible! Often I live my life---work, time with people I love, entertainment--- and I find myself going to bed too tired to think about reading and leaving it for "tomorrow".
3) Focused time with God. When I have time carved out to spend getting to know God and reflecting on His word, that time should be completely free of anxiety or distractions. This might require I get up 30 minutes before the rest of the house, or stay up 30 minutes later. This also means that I'm not running through my chore list in the back of my mind while spending time with Him. This point actually reminded me of the times that I've talked to my husband on the phone when he was out of town and I could always tell when I didn't have his full attention. Sometimes he was watching TV, organizing his stuff, or was on his computer while talking to me and it was always very obvious and very frustrating/offensive to me. I always asked him, "I'm not asking for much! I just want to be the only thing you're focusing on for the next 20 minutes! Talk with me! Be engaged in our conversation!" ... and I can only imagine God saying the same thing to me during our prayer time!
4) We need to "become God with skin on" to those around us. That means we're full-time Christians engaging with the world around us in love, faith, hope, humility, and  forgiveness. The world is not going to be "convinced" of our faith because we preach at them every once in a while, or because we go to church on Sundays, or because we point out all their sins. The world will only be convinced when we fully embody who God is. The only way that happens is if we've been putting God first and have gotten to know Him intimately through our relationship with Him.

The big realization I've come to is that I, ashamedly, have been investing my time poorly. I've spent more time in the void of mindless entertainment than I do in pursuit of God. What's the return of investment on Facebooking? YouTubing? Workaholism? Not a whole lot. However, the return of investment on prioritizing a life of faith and a relationship with God is infinite.

I'm just hoping I can remember that. I'd hate to pull my "Eternity Fund" only to make a few bad investments and end up losing big time.

Talking With God

"My heart has heard you say, 'Come and talk with me.' 

And my heart responds, 'Lord, I am coming.'"

-Psalm 27:8 NLT

Since getting back into my bible and committing to read it consistently, I've found myself reflecting a lot on hearing and responding to God in prayer. I wanted to share some realizations I've had recently about my prayer life. I read the above verse yesterday as I was flipping through Psalms, and the profound thought hit me: God is inviting me to converse with him! That fact, in and of itself, is amazing. I am one of billions of people on this planet, but God still personalizes himself and invites each heart to simply "come and talk". 

But what do we say when we get into that conversation?

I've, ashamedly, come to realize that my prayer life has become extremely self-centered. I am constantly asking God for stuff and complaining about difficult situations. My heart too closely resembles the Israelites' in Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers. My heart complains when it should be thanking. I often don't know how good I have it and am blinded by "inconveniences". No matter what happens, I've enjoyed luxuries 90% of the world's population has only dreamed about. I not only have my basic needs taken care of, but I also have countless "comforts" on top of that. I've learned that, because I have a roof over my head and a car to drive, I am in the top 1% of wealthiest people on the planet. It's not often that middle-class North America remembers that it is truly rich in comparison to the larger world.

While reflecting on the passages dealing with the Israelites' exodus from Egypt and time in the wilderness, I've been reminded that:

1. God is God and is worthy of respect. I should be speaking to him with the same respect and reverence that I would speak to a national leader.
2. God is family. I should be loving towards him and admiring who he is. 
3. God is merciful. I should be endlessly thankful towards him in the same way I would be thankful towards a friend/stranger who decided to pay off all my past, present, and future debts.
4. God is never deserving of my anger/wrath. I am in no position to complain given the fact that he has saved me and accepts me, despite all my flaws and mistakes. Just because I don't understand why something is happening, doesn't mean I have the right to get demanding/disrespectful towards God. To quote an unknown author, "When you are going through something difficult and wonder where God is, remember a teacher is always silent during a test."

This doesn't mean we should never ask God for anything. Moses constantly pleaded with God to change His mind on various plans. However, we need to be very aware of what we are asking for and what motivations lie behind those requests. Are we merely being selfish? Are we only concerned with our own comfort? Remember, God never promised to keep us comfortable. Quite the opposite. Comfortable people don't grow. Comfortable people don't respond to challenge. Comfortable people don't work any harder than they have to. God promised us a difficult life, but a rich and rewarding life. We need to keep this in mind if God refuses our requests or doesn't seem to answer our prayers. His will is His own. He sees the big picture. We're only looking at one pixel at a time.

I really hope that I can keep the lines of communication consistently open from now on. I seem to get on a spiritual "rollercoaster", where one week I'm on top of the world singing a "Hallelujah" chorus, and the next week I'm at the bottom of the valley, ignoring God, and distracted by my own "difficult" life. I pray that God would give me His heart, to know His will, and the faith/courage to actually do His will.

Sometimes all this Stumbling around gets tiresome. 

How to Read the Bible Everyday

As I write this post, I must admit--being the ever-stumbling Christian I am--I have not done well enough with my Bible reading over the summer to claim I now read it EVERY day, but I have gotten better!

My last two blog posts explored why it's important to read the Bible often and consistently, as well as what the Bible is all about. Today, far overdue, is my final installment which is meant to explore how to read the Bible everyday.

As with anything, I find that the only way I can stick to anything is if I actually have a plan. When I "dabble" in the Bible I find it easier to be drop off and be inconsistent in my reading. Right now I have the YouVersion Bible app on my iPhone and tablet and I use the "Reading God's Story: One-Year Chronological Plan". It prompts me to read 6 days a week and tells me which passages to read. The fact that I have the Bible on my phone and tablet leaves me no excuse when it comes to reading. I carry my phone on my all the time. I should be able to pick it up and explore the Lord's letter in any idle moment! If I lapse in my reading, the app will automatically email me and encourage me to get back at it! (Isn't it amazing when technology is used for something holy?)

The problem with a one-year plan is that it can be very overwhelming and daunting to a person just starting in on their bible. One-year plans often require a person to read 4-6 chapters of the bible per day. If you're new to the daily bible reading thing, I would suggest starting where you can. It's more important that you're consistent and getting a bit each day than it is to be reading the whole thing through in a year. When I was younger my first steps into reading the bible involved reading the New Testament, little-by-little, each day. I've also thoroughly enjoyed reading a Psalms or Proverbs per day. These areas of the Bible are full of relevance and hope! They are a great place to start! (But don't forget to expand out and move on later on! Always challenge yourself!)

As with most reading plans, mine has had me starting in the Old Testament. I always find my foray into Leviticus is especially difficult. It brings up all kinds of tough ideas and cultural norms that are entirely foreign to me and often offensive to me! (But I suppose that's a post for another day!) However, I know that being challenged by the bible is a good thing. It has opened the dialogue daily with God and it has pushed me to truly try and understand Him.

As a wise pastor once told me, the thing to remember in reading any part of the bible is to read with the joy Christ's grace has given us. The bible points to Jesus' redemption. The "heavy", difficult parts of the bible are there to remind us of the legalism we've been freed from, thanks to Christ's sacrifice.

So, however you choose to start, remember to:
a) have a plan and stick to it daily
b) reflect on what you read and talk to God about it. What are you thankful for in this passage? What confused you or angered you about this passage? Seek further understanding.
c) remember that all you read points towards Christ's grace. Read with the freedom of hope/forgiveness, not the guilt of legalism.

Honestly, fellow Stumblers, reading the Bible on a daily basis makes all the difference in my life. It's like exercise for the soul. It strengthens my faith "muscles" and keeps my spirit healthy. I have always been able to trace the darkest times in my life to a non-existent devotional life. I refused to read God's word, and often my prayers also ceased in those times. A life without God's Words becomes hopeless and lonesome and meaningless.

God created our bodies with the essential need for daily maintenance--food, water, exercise, rest-- what makes us think that our souls are any different? Remember to tend to your hungry soul. Nourish with God's word daily. Feed your spirit. Don't deprive your soul of a conversation with your Maker.