Open-Handed Living vs. Closed-Fist Living

Something that I've always wrestled with is the idea of pursuing success and owning "nice things". I often get rocked by Bible passages that talk about disciples giving up everything so that they could pursue their ministry and spread the word of God. Is this what all Christians are supposed to do?

I was recently inspired by a video series called "CUSH". It was put on by a church in the States and you can access it here (you'll have to scroll down all the way to the bottom to find it, as there are a number of excellent video series listed... another one I would recommend is "Man School", but that's a post for another day).

In this series, the pastor reiterates that it really comes down to a question of heart and attitude. Is owning nice things a sin? No. But living selfishly and making the pursuit of "nice things" a priority is. A homeless person can have a sinful "rich" attitude by being focused on pursuing possessions and refusing to let others share in whatever God has blessed him with, however it is much more common for a person who has much to be plagued with this attitude. It is ironic, in a way, that the more we have, the less likely we are to share.

It comes down to this: do you live with an open hand or a closed fist? Do you joyfully and actively seek ways to bless others with whatever God has blessed you with? Or do you selfishly clutch on to your belongings and refuse to let anyone near? I know that I still struggle with selfishness.... oh, I give.... but rarely do I give "when it hurts". The important thing to remember is that everything you own (every good and perfect gift) comes from God. It is God's. It is not yours. So when God directs us to "pay it forward" elsewhere, we really have no right to say, "No! Mine!"

I find the most difficult thing is tuning my heart to God's voice. Really listening for the leading to give... how much... in what way...and when. Sometimes it's a room in your house. Sometimes it's money. Sometimes it's food. Sometimes it's lending, sometimes it's giving away. Sometimes it's little, and sometimes it's much. No matter the case, it always comes down to relationships. How are you using your blessings (no matter how big or small) to build relationships with others and to point them towards Christ?

Is it a sin to have "nice things"? No, not necessarily... but you have to ask yourself: what if God required you to give it all away tomorrow? He literally, and audibly spoke to you and said it was time for you to give it all up.... would you? Or what if it wasn't even everything? What if you were led to give away your car? That's right, for free. Or perhaps you were led to give away something of great sentimental value? Or you were led to invite stranger into your home and let them stay with you, even though it's awkward to do so?

The hypotheticals get frightening, don't they? How little does it have to be before we say, "Yeah, I'd have no problem whatsoever giving in that way"?

It's not easy. But remember what it's all about:

"You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God." (2 Corinthians 9:11)

Jenga Theology?

A friend of mine recently had a profound comment on a common Christian approach to personal theology... he called it "Jenga Theology."

Basically, he said that way too many people construct their faith based on a few "churchy truths." These truths aren't bad, or even necessarily wrong. However, the problem occurs when people rest their entire faith on top of this "Jenga" tower of "truths."

Then, one day, someone comes along and pulls one of those truths out of the stack. This "truth" is either refuted or questioned, and suddenly the "Jenga Christian" finds their entire faith crumbling and imploding. This Christian finds themselves turning away from God and questioning everything about their faith, rather than just questioning that single block.

It's important that Christians focus on their relationship with God--not on building up a math equation of "truths" that add up to faith. We can't reduce our faith in God to an equation. We need to make sure we keep God more important than everything else in our life. Our relationship and faith in God should supersede theological arguments, bible verses, catechism, and sermons. Everything else can and will be questioned and poked at. No one can refute an authentic, genuine relationship with God.

In this way, when someone argues with you over "young earth" vs "old earth", believers' baptism vs. infant baptism, Armageddon, etc... you can carefully analyze your beliefs on that truth alone without questioning your entire faith. Theology can be adjusted without disintegrating. Your faith in God should be steadfast and unwavering.

For example, just because you find out your mom's natural hair colour isn't blonde---that she's been dying it for decades---doesn't mean that you should question your relationship with her. Something you misinterpreted as "truth" (i.e. her natural hair colour) needs to be adjusted, however your relationship with your mother remains steadfast. In the same way, theology can shift without losing faith.

Don't let life changes, University studies, cynical friends, or difficult circumstances demolish your faith. Your relationship with God is the stone foundation underneath it all... it's not the fragile artifact sitting atop the Jenga tower.

Proof and Faith

I attend a "Young Marrieds" group through my church, and for the past few weeks we've been studying apologetics. While it can be quite intellectually heavy at times, a very profound thought was recently brought up:

Nothing truly important is provable. 

You can gather evidence and make arguments, but nothing truly worthwhile can be proven with 100% accuracy. Yes, we can prove that 1 +1=2. Yes, we can prove that a day is 24 hours. But can you prove that someone loves you? Can you prove that you're right in a moral debate? 

At some point, all of life's most important questions take a leap of faith. We can have sound arguments and a plethora of evidence to support our point of view, however, when it comes down to taking that last essential step, you just have to believe.

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." --Hebrews 11:6

Chronically Distracted

I was reading through my old blog posts today, trying to find inspiration for a communion message that I will be leading in church tomorrow, and I found that inspiration in my very first post to this blog (found here).  After reading the post that inspired this blog in the first place, I'm beginning to think I have a chronic case of Distraction. I went from passionately posting on a daily basis... to dwindling down to a few times a week... to perhaps monthly...

I had 84 posts in 2010. And 9 in 2011.

Most people would say, "who cares?" It's just a blog, after all. It's not like it's my job. I'm not getting paid to do it. It's a hobby. Hobbies come and go, right?

Well, the embarrassing confession I have to make is that this blog served as my reflective devotional. That steep decline in posts also shows a steep decline in my focus on my personal relationship with God. Sure, I go to church every week. Sure, I pray nearly every day. But my prayers have become short and selfish ("God, help me find my iPhone...") and church becomes a brief (and guilty) reminder of my starving soul.

It's time to resuscitate this flat-lining blog... and, by extension, my flat-lining spiritual life. I will open my Bible and I will nourish my anorexic spirit. I will talk to God instead of at Him. I will use this blog as a reflective tool to keep me on track.

"Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made...'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed--or indeed only one.'"  -Luke 10:40-41 NIV

Just call me Martha.

Wake Up! Open Your Eyes!

 “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter— when you see the naked, to clothe them,    and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

                                                --Isaiah 58: 6-9

I was recently hit hard by the reality of the suffering going on in the Horn of Africa right now. I always knew there was poverty in Africa. In fact "the starving children of Africa" have unwittingly become utterly (and cruelly) cliche due to their endless suffering. We, the fortunate, have become so "accustomed" to the suffering of the unfortunate that we barely take notice anymore.

Did you know that there has been no rain in this region of Africa for more than 2 years?
Did you know that 12 million people are in danger of starving to death because they've lost their crops and their livestock and have absolutely no means of feeding themselves?
Did you know that there are toddlers that weigh less than a healthy newborn should weigh ( <10lbs) because they're so malnourished ?
Did you know that families have completely uprooted themselves and, starving as they are, are walking incredible distances in hopes of getting food for themselves and their children in the next country?
Did you know that humanitarian agencies are saying the crisis is so severe that they need 2.5 billion dollars at minimum to help the famine victims and the "fortunate" countries have only committed to attempting to raise 1 billion?

This crisis, which, in terms of death toll, is one of the worst disasters in human history, is going largely unnoticed by Western media. There is a plug here or there, but the story has been largely overshadowed by other matters. Because, after all, the "cliche" of starving children in Africa is only going to fall on deaf ears. No one is interested in that anymore. No one cares.

Or do they?

We have been called to rise above, to give generously, to ease the suffering of others. It really brings me a great deal of shame that my husband and I have sighed as we look into our pantry or fridge--with it's abundance of food and ingredients--only to turn away exasperated because there's "nothing good to eat". It dumbfounds me that a life could be saved, a stomach could be filled, an agony could be transformed with the money I waste on frivolities. It amazes me that what little coverage there is in the media is always, ironically, prefaced with "disclaimers" to protect viewers from the disturbing images that follow.

I really do ask that you reflect on this. Seriously reflect on this.

____________________________________

Overview:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_Horn_of_Africa_famine

Newsclip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0n645u0x470

DONATE:
World Vision
UNICEF 
*There are many aid agencies to choose from. Feel free to do your own research, but please... donate.

Inspiration

I just wanted to share the lyrics to a song that recently brought me a great deal of inspiration. It sounded like the singer was speaking directly into my life. I know that, all too often I get upset with God when life throws curve balls my way. When there is pain, injustice, stress, frustration.

The song is called "Blessings" by Laura Story. I would encourage you to really read these lyrics and have a listen to the song yourself.

"BLESSINGS" 

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

And what if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can’t satisfy?

And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?

Here is the song on YouTube:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ

Anger

"Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming" 

-Psalm 27:4

"Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools." 

-Ecclesiastes 7:9

The title of this blog is "The Daily Stumbler". I have been upfront with the fact that I mess up. I don't get it right all the time (or even most of the time). I typically write posts that attempt to advise others... that answer questions. Today, I bring before you an issue that I haven't found answer for yet. You see, I have a bad temper. I let it get the best of me too often. I recently had a "bad day" and took it out on my husband. Then, as the cycle usually goes, I felt guilty for my hot-headedness and hated myself for letting my anger take over yet again. In an attempt to get to the root of it all, I did some creative journaling. Today, I do not have advice or answers. Today I just expose a dark side of myself and readily admit I am a sinner and I desperately need God to keep me on track and hold me accountable. This is one of my Stumbles. 

"Confessions" 

I can feel my rage-ridden heart clawing against the inside of my ribcage with acidic ferocity. It is like an untamable wild creature that possesses me, given even the smallest opportunity. I clench my jaw until the very roots of my teeth hurt and the pain crawls its way up into my temples and down the sinews of my neck.

I close my eyes and allowed myself to smolder. I don’t understand it. Anger completely takes over and sweeps me away too often. My rational mind knows that the triggers that set me off are often petty and meaningless, but that doesn’t ever matter in the heat of the moment. All that matters is that my chest is searing with fury and the only way to alleviate it was to tear myself open and let the fire-acid freeflow—without care or concern about who gets swept away in the deluge.

My husband is at once my favored to most regretted victim. I can bridle my frustration all day long while I am at work. I can even put on a pleasant demeanor and a charming smile in my dealings with strangers and acquaintances. However, the threshold of my own home always seems to flip a switch. I relax my grip on the reins of my rage, and it never fails in tearing itself away from my grip and rampaging towards the one I love most.

 I love him, but my anger tells me I hate him. It snarls and snaps. It wants to hurt. To cut and slash. To make sure he’s suffering as much as I am. My anger takes a sadistic pleasure when a particularly hurtful remark flies true and strikes his heart. When it makes him bleed. His eyes betray his pain. I may not be able to take him down with fists and feet, but I can bring him to his knees with my words and contemptuous glares. My anger gives me power. It intoxicates me. It numbs the conscience and possesses my words and actions. I vacate myself and let it take over.

I watch myself transform into a creature of rage. I watch myself react like a wounded animal. I screech and snarl and lunge. All the while, inside I am weeping. In a small dark corner of myself, I am curled up sobbing… crying out, “Love me. Hold me. Understand me.”

And he does.

My poor, foolish husband does. He isn’t conscious of his understanding, but he disarms the animal with his calm words. He subdues the creature with a caress, and then an assertive hug. He holds tight as the creature snarls and fights. My anger hates him. It hates him for this. It hates him for making me weak. It hates him for taking away my power.

I am pulled from my dark corner and I am found on the outside sobbing. My anger retreats to that dark corner. It is not gone. It never goes far. It merely paces, glaring outwards; waiting for its next opportunity to strike.

I want to rid myself of this animal. And yet I don’t. I keep it chained up within myself like a ferocious guard dog. It was meant to protect me, but at some point I lost control of it. Too often it strains against its tether until the chain snaps and it’s let free to attack again.

I cry. I sob. My tears extinguish the flames, but the burns ache deep within me. Pain surges with every beat of my adrenaline-charged heart. Guilt and shame climb onto my shoulders and I am brought to my knees. My anger mocks me for being so weak. It turns its hatred inward. I gave in too soon. How dare I let this man defuse me! How foolish I was to allow him to disarm me! He can’t be trusted. He can’t give you what you need. He’ll fail you again. Just wait and see.

Yet this man holds on and reassures me. His words are like salve. I am soothed. Despite myself, I allow a smile—perhaps even a giggle—to defeat me. My anger scoffs within me and dismisses me with disgust. I take no notice. This man, my own, valiantly saved me from the creature that possessed me. The beast with his wife’s face. The beast that injured him and cut him and continued to maul and attack when he was down. Surely this man, my husband, is a hero!

And yet, the image of shining armor—of valiance, of bravery, of love and kindness—is short lived. This man is no knight. He is no king. This man is imperfect and wrestles with his own shameful monsters. And when this man inevitably fails—and I am wounded—my steadfast fury is there to defend me. My anger grins and grips my heart once again. My anger is faithful when those I love aren’t. This creature of rage takes over when I can’t. I retreat back into that dark corner once again, crying out to be loved, while my fury stands firm on the frontlines, readying itself for the attack once again.  My anger flexes its muscles within my own. I am possessed and steeled. I leave the weak, sobbing child within myself and prepare to strike out once again.

Quotable Wisdom: Proverbs 23

"Do not let your heart envy sinners, 

   but always be zealous for the fear of the LORD. 

There is surely a future hope for you, 

   and your hope will not be cut off."

Proverbs 23:17-18

What do you wish you had? Whose life do you really wish you could live? Who do you envy?

All too often it is easy to look at the world around us through lenses tainted by society's greed and mindless consumerism. We need to look at the world through Jesus' eyes... to see what really--truly-- is important. Suddenly, possessions... wealth... a nice house...designer brands...luxury vehicles, etc... won't seem quite so important anymore.

Thank God for the gifts he has given you and give generously from those gifts. Covet only God's wisdom and the fruits of the Spirit. Strive to be more like Christ... not more like Hollywood stars, corporate CEOs or even the guy down the street. 

There is hope and a future in God. Can't say the same about anything our society has to offer. 

Quotable Wisdom: Proverbs 22

"...the borrower is slave to the lender."

Proverbs 22:7b NIV

This small tidbit in a rather complex chapter in Proverbs really stood out to me. How many people in this society are living a life of slavery? This entire recession comes down to the fact that too many of us were purposely handing ourselves over to a life of slavery and oppression. It may have felt "fun" when we purchased big TVs and big houses to put them in... but it's suddenly not so "fun" when our "masters" call in the debt and we can't pay. 

I truly believe that a Christian shouldn't live in debt. Yes, a mortgage may be a necessity for home ownership... but buying a house with less than 20% down, or maxing out our approved mortgage amount is not necessary. Yes, having a big TV is nice... but we can have patience and diligently save for our luxuries rather than paying with the credit card when we can't afford it. 

God has called us to a life of freedom. He has called us to a life of generosity... to care for the poor and the needy. Yet, not only do we ignore this call, we inflict poverty on ourselves by being greedy and irresponsible. We do not want to be patient and save for the things we need/want; rather we borrow until our lenders will give us no more, and spend like we don't have to pay it back. 

It's time to break the bonds of slavery. It's time to be free from financial oppression. God should be our only master. We will never live a life of freedom if we are drowning in debt or chasing fads and gizmos beyond our financial reach. God wants so much more for us than that. 

Quotable Wisdom: Proverbs 8

Passage Highlight:

"I love those who love me, 

   and those who seek me find me."

Proverbs 8:17 (NIV)

(Subject- Wisdom)

How many of us are in the pursuit of wisdom? I'm not talking about University degrees or fun facts or knowledge of politics. I'm talking true wisdom. God-given, God-inspired wisdom. 

I find all too often I get distracted by the world's standard of "wisdom." After all, I just paid tens of thousands of dollars and invested 5 years of my life to get my B.A. and B.Ed. If I'm willing to invest that much into pursuing worldly knowledge, why am I not willing to invest the same or more into pursuing God and His wisdom? 

God isn't trying to hide anything. He will reveal himself to those who seek Him. He wants us to know what He's doing. In spite of that, though, most days I can't be bothered to seek Him or His wisdom. I'm "too busy" with "life." 

It's pretty embarrassing, really. Especially when I put things into an eternal perspective. I invest so much time in things that have no eternal value whatsoever. They are temporary. And yet those things that truly matter I put on the back burner because I am too tied up with my worldly pursuits.

I think it's time for another attitude adjustment. 

Lord,

I am so sorry for ignoring you and your wisdom. I don't spend the time with you I should. God, forgive me. Thank you for loving me even when I'm unlovable. When I'm disobedient and distracted. God, I want you to be my priority.

-Me

Quotable Wisdom: Proverbs 4

This month I'm reading through the book of Proverbs. On Monday I began the series with chapter one, and here we are three days later and on to chapter four! 

Passage Highlight:

"Above all else, guard your heart, 

   for everything you do flows from it. 

 Keep your mouth free of perversity; 

   keep corrupt talk far from your lips. 

 Let your eyes look straight ahead; 

   fix your gaze directly before you. 

 Give careful thought to the paths for your feet 

   and be steadfast in all your ways. 

 Do not turn to the right or the left; 

   keep your foot from evil."

Proverbs 4:23-27 (NIV)

Sometimes this world seems to get the best of me. I let my guard down. I say something that I shouldn't. I do something that I regret. It's difficult to keep the guard up and secure around our hearts and minds. God wants us to love and pursue Him with all our hearts, souls, and strength. If we keep our hearts brimming with love for God and overflowing with His Spirit, there will be no room for sin to creep in and gain a stronghold.

In a world that thrives on gossip, can we keep our mouths shut and walk away from the conversation?

In an overly sexualized society, can we avert our eyes and keep our thoughts pure and lust-free?

In a materialistic world, can we be thankful for our blessings and curtail envy and jealousy? 

In a volatile age, can we keep our faith steadfast and our actions righteous? 

I often have to remind myself that this world is ruled by sinful people and a clever enemy. Everyday brings temptations and pitfalls. I will be tested. I will have difficulties. Will I lean on God and prevail? Will I turn away from the glamorous lifestyle sin so tantalizingly offers? 

It's so easy to just "go with the flow" and try to "fit in." But the fact of the matter is, in this world the "norm" is a slippery slope to hell. The general society that we live in promotes selfishness and sinful actions. We're in a fight. Don't let your heart's guard down. 

Quotable Wisdom: Proverbs

I love the convenience of Proverbs. Every verse seems to pack a punch. Bite-sized morsels of wisdom. Not to mention the added bonus of the book having 31 chapters---like it was designed to be read daily for a month! Anyway, I am going to be exploring this beloved book for the next little while. Before we delve into it, here are some quick facts about the book.


Author: King Solomon
Date: Approx 900 BC
Purpose: Imparting wisdom


Chapter One


Passage Highlight: 

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction." (Proverbs 1:7 NIV)

I think this passage is a fantastic introduction to the book of Proverbs. It doesn't matter how smart a person is... how eloquent... how knowledgeable; true wisdom is rooted in knowing, pursuing, and fearing God. God wants to make his children wise. He wants to share his ways, plans, and wisdom. All we need to do is be receptive to him. 

All too often I forget about God in my pursuit of counterfeit "wisdom." I get wrapped up in GPAs, textbooks, and debate. I forget that wisdom has to be tested against God's standard... not human standards. I am excited to dive into Proverbs again. It has always been one of my favorite books in the Bible, but it is so easy to get distracted by eloquent words and forget to truly apply the rich wisdom contained within this book. 

Looking forward to reading along with you! 

Sunday Sprint: Resolving to Love

"For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love."

Galatians 5:13 (NLT)

I've been reflecting a lot lately on love. It seems like the entire Biblical message can be boiled down to that single deceptively simple word. God's love for his people. God's love for his son. God expecting his children to love one another and him. To quote the Beatles... perhaps "all you need is love." 

It's easy to say. It's easy to post it in fancy cursive on plaques and walls... but it is oh-so difficult to live out on a daily basis. God has freed us from our sin. We have been given a complete freedom unlike any other. Why is it so difficult for us to thank Jesus for settling our insurmountable debt by loving him, the Father, and each other?

This New Year, I'm resolving to love my Father with the love he deserves for saving me, loving me, and forgiving me. I'm also resolving to live my life minute-by-minute with a heart of love for others. It won't be easy. I have a case of chronic selfishness and am afflicted with bouts of anger and impatience. I just pray that God will transform my heart to be like His, so that I can love like Him. 

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” 

Matthew 22: 37-39