Hunger Pangs

"My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go meet with God?" --Psalm 42:2

One of my New Year's resolutions was to get fit, lose some weight, and eat healthy. As part of my plan to lose some weight, I've been counting calories and limiting my intake.

The result?

I'm HUNGRY all the time! My stomach aches, my mood shifts to irritable grouch-monster, and my motivation to do anything that requires exertion is nil. If I exercise and forget to up my hydration, the THIRST kicks in... my mouth is dry, my throat burns, and I begin to fantasize about cool, smooth, water.

The Bible often uses the metaphor of hunger and thirst in reference to our relationship with God. What does this say about our spiritual relationship?

1) It's a Need: -I have (more times than I'd like to admit) treated my relationship with God as a nice addition to my life that I pay attention to when I have time, rather than chasing after it with the ferocity I chase down a glass of water after 45 minutes of intense cardio. You don't eat/drink; you die. You don't chase after God constantly; your spirit dies.

2) It has widespread effects: -malnourishment has all kind of repercussions: emaciation, lethargy, fatigue, fainting, poor mood, organ failure, etc. In the same way, a starving spirit has many consequences. While I don't get a sharp pain in my soul when I start neglecting my relationship with God (a pain like I get in my stomach when I haven't eaten for a few hours and my last meal was small to begin with!), the pain still manifests itself in different ways--depression, anxiety, more arguments with loved ones, impatience, selfishness... I could go on and on.

 3) It's up to you: -I can be surrounded by food and still be hungry. It's my choice to eat. God always makes himself available to us, so it's not His fault when we stubbornly refuse to acknowledge him and our spirit starves. It's our fault. We're the ones that choose whether or not to pursue and cultivate the relationship. God is always there; always inviting... but he's not going to force himself on us.

We need to learn to see the signs of spiritual starvation and soul thirst. We need to stop ignoring our spiritual "hunger pangs", and instead chase after God with ferocity, desperation, and deepest desiring.

"My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God." --Psalm 84:2 

Open-Handed Living vs. Closed-Fist Living

Something that I've always wrestled with is the idea of pursuing success and owning "nice things". I often get rocked by Bible passages that talk about disciples giving up everything so that they could pursue their ministry and spread the word of God. Is this what all Christians are supposed to do?

I was recently inspired by a video series called "CUSH". It was put on by a church in the States and you can access it here (you'll have to scroll down all the way to the bottom to find it, as there are a number of excellent video series listed... another one I would recommend is "Man School", but that's a post for another day).

In this series, the pastor reiterates that it really comes down to a question of heart and attitude. Is owning nice things a sin? No. But living selfishly and making the pursuit of "nice things" a priority is. A homeless person can have a sinful "rich" attitude by being focused on pursuing possessions and refusing to let others share in whatever God has blessed him with, however it is much more common for a person who has much to be plagued with this attitude. It is ironic, in a way, that the more we have, the less likely we are to share.

It comes down to this: do you live with an open hand or a closed fist? Do you joyfully and actively seek ways to bless others with whatever God has blessed you with? Or do you selfishly clutch on to your belongings and refuse to let anyone near? I know that I still struggle with selfishness.... oh, I give.... but rarely do I give "when it hurts". The important thing to remember is that everything you own (every good and perfect gift) comes from God. It is God's. It is not yours. So when God directs us to "pay it forward" elsewhere, we really have no right to say, "No! Mine!"

I find the most difficult thing is tuning my heart to God's voice. Really listening for the leading to give... how much... in what way...and when. Sometimes it's a room in your house. Sometimes it's money. Sometimes it's food. Sometimes it's lending, sometimes it's giving away. Sometimes it's little, and sometimes it's much. No matter the case, it always comes down to relationships. How are you using your blessings (no matter how big or small) to build relationships with others and to point them towards Christ?

Is it a sin to have "nice things"? No, not necessarily... but you have to ask yourself: what if God required you to give it all away tomorrow? He literally, and audibly spoke to you and said it was time for you to give it all up.... would you? Or what if it wasn't even everything? What if you were led to give away your car? That's right, for free. Or perhaps you were led to give away something of great sentimental value? Or you were led to invite stranger into your home and let them stay with you, even though it's awkward to do so?

The hypotheticals get frightening, don't they? How little does it have to be before we say, "Yeah, I'd have no problem whatsoever giving in that way"?

It's not easy. But remember what it's all about:

"You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God." (2 Corinthians 9:11)